Ah, Motherhood

Since there are only a few days left in the contest, I thought I'd post again and give another chance to comment!

So Candy Man and I are obsessed with giving The Boy a great childhood. Yes, really. Now don't get me wrong, I understand he needs trials and tribulations to grow and prosper, but he is 7 and has plenty of time for the crap of life.

In this particular instance, The Boy was 5 and the Harlem Globetrotters were in town (said town was St. George, UT...). Our reason for jumping at the chance to take The Boy to see them was two fold: One, we thought he would love their ball throwing antics and Two, after 2 years in St. George, the kid needed to see some....diversity.

So, we buy great tickets. We ooh and ahh over the wonder that is the Globe Trotters. We buy all kinds concession-stand goodness. At the end of game, we purchase a Globe Trotter's designer ball and wait in line to have it signed... this is the stuff boyhood dreams are made of right?

Apparently not.

After getting in the car, the following conversation begins:

TB: "Mom, can I watch some cartoons when we get home?"

Me: "Not tonight. When we get home it's straight to bed."

TB: "You mean you just wasted my time and now I can't even watch cartoons?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?

First of all, let me assure you, The Boy is still alive and did not sustain any injuries (Candy Man and I vowed not to spank. This vow obviously took place before we actually had a child, but nevertheless, we are spank-free).

He did, however, have to endure his first crazed-parent lecture.

The following tag team lecture including everything from "Are you kidding me?" and "Do you know how much money we spent?" and my personal favorite, "Do you know how many children in Africa have never seen the Globe Trotters?"

Finally, I looked at that ungrateful kid square on and said, "You know what the bottom line is? You are five. Your time is mine to waste."

The car ride home was silent (expect for my occasional sigh and muttering, "wasted my time, I'll show you wasted time, boy).

The Boy has never spoken of wasted time since.


Comments

Heather said…
Ah yes...we've had a similar experience at the ballet. At least he can never look back and say you didn't try. And I think I'll use that line in reference to chores, homework, baths...
Debbie said…
Isn't it great t know that you no longer have to spend a lot o cash to expose your kids. We too have discovered that 1.they don't care
2.they don't remember and 3. oh yeah, they don't care. So now when you think about using money to expose your kids to some culture, think again and use it on yourself!
Alison said…
For us it was Disney Princesses on Ice. Sometimes the more we do to give them a great experience, the more entitled and bratty they act. Don't worry: someday he'll be glad you exposed him to different things. I'd say, just don't overdo it and put him in his place (like you did) when he oversteps the line.

And I LOVE your comeback. I *almost* wish my daughter would say I'm wasting her time so I could use it!
Candid Carrie said…
Alright,

1. You want diversity? Come to Sheboygan Wisconsin ... we have diversity of the ying yang. Serious diversity.

2. Out of all the blogs of yours, this is by far my favorite one ... even better than yesterday.

3. I'll babysit for The Boy anytime you need me to, he won't suffer much because this is my typical parenting.

4. You are so flippin' human, I love it.
Anonymous said…
When my daughter was turning 2 she opened a gift and held it up and exclaimed, "Look! It's a box!" I told her there was something inside the box. She opened the box to discover a couple of adorable outfits. She was devastated. I learned at that moment that she has her own value system. Every once in a while it overlaps with mine. I'm bracing myself for 12!
Rachel
Connie said…
Oh how I can relate! My son love everything but the daughter is another story.
scargosun said…
I remember stuff like this from when I was little. The whole "Somthing on Ice" didn't interest me but I know that it was a big deal. I could have cared less!
Tiffany said…
So what have we learned today?... YOUR KIDS COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ANYTHING THAT ENDS IN "ON ICE".

You know what it was for me? My parents took us to see the Men's 1984 Olympics team (Mitch Gaylord and Bart Conner, baby!) do some kind of exhibition.

I only cared that they threw me a rose...

Oh, and this one time when we went to Hawaii, my dad dragged me to the Volcano... I was miserable.
Anonymous said…
Here's one, Tiff...
How about my parents dragging me to the World Series game in 1988 - Dodgers v. A's and YES...it was the one where Kirk Gibson hit the homerun. I was miserable the whole time because we had just moved to CA and all of the girls (later known as GLAD Girls!) were having a sleepover at Kim's. I was the "new" girl and had to go late because dad got tickets from work to the game...still have never forgiven them and the husband cringes that I could have cared less about watching Kirk Gibson pump his arms as he ran around the bases!!!

And...Mitch Gaylord? Had the "American Anthem" movie poster in my room in NJ!!!! Too funny...haven't thought about that in a few decades!
M
Insane Mama said…
Thats hilarious "your time is mine to waste" I'm gonna have to start sxaying that
Candid Carrie said…
Now this is serious for real ... a guy I went to high school with was in the movie American Anthem. He was a real tiny little squirt and he got the part of a gymnast. He strutted around the reunion like he was all movie starish. Hasn't done a thing since. Granted that is more time on the big screen than I've got, but I'm saying ... we've got a thirty year reunion under our belts and he is still chatting up American Anthem. He might still have the poster in his room ;)
Jennifer P. said…
I am certain I have gone through this exact scenario with one or all of my children! No matter what wonderful thing we've done or what fabulous place we've gone, I always hear: "what are we going to do tomorrow?" Aaaaagh!

I'm sure if you ask him about the Globetrotters today, he'll remember them :)!
Natalie said…
KIDS! They just don't get it. We plan our lives around making sure they have great memories. I've found that they don't really remember most of it until they are much older.

To give you even more to look forward to.....the same problem works the opposite direction. When I really want to take my boys to something I KNOW they will love and really enjoy (the park, a fair, a concert, a hike, a museum, etc.etc.etc.) - they often argue and don't want to do it. They see it as a waste of time before we even get there. Then we go and oh, yes, well they did have fun. What a surprise, Mom does know a few things. How about just trust me once in a while and not argue. The down side is, they are still anxious to get back home to their usual waste of time (tv, computer, games, etc).

You can't win. You just have to take them and have fun and know that at least YOU can celebrate those memories. :)
Insane Mama said…
If I got a poem, any poem, I would probably be like... OMG, somebody actually cares? I would be confused, I would probably break out in a rash, or drink Lemoncello uncontrolably and I would most likely CRY
Anonymous said…
How DO you get a child to be grateful or understand what it is to be grateful? Mine comes home everyday wanting, no NEEDING, something someone else has. And I'm ruining his life but not purchasing it all. I can't get through to him how to appreciate all he has. Maybe he needs to know what it's like to be without?
Heather M.
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~Sheila~ said…
Ha Ha..Great Story..My favorite part....."yes, there are no black people in St. George." and "Do you know how many children in Africa.."
I was actually eating my weinerschnitzel chili cheese fries and almost choked on it.
Susie said…
LOL Oh My! We took K to see the Harlem Globetrotters as a Girl Scout function. We took my nephew too. Both loved it. Both waited in "line" to get autographs. We wanted the player who is from our local college to sign. Unfortunately every other person in the building also wanted his autograph. The stadium was set up for the local hockey games so that turned out to be a better trade then standing in line with every other person and their brother. I got a picture of the kids in the penalty box.
Soulflower said…
This is why i love that boy - I remember you calling me and telling me about this the next day and me thinking, who the hell does he think he is...? But this is also the kid who when you turned off the tv via remote behind him one day turned around, put his hand on his hip, furrowed his brow and said, "HEY!?!" hahahaha
Holy crap, I know this is an old post but I was laughing out loud. I call our guy The Boy too! Can't wait till he's five! Not.
Anonymous said…
You are my new mom hero!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my goodness. i actually can't stop laughing. hilarious. can you come to my house and tell my 9 year old the same thing? thanks!
Unknown said…
How funny! I just love the you're ruining my life comments that come next!
Pseudo said…
This is a great story. Glad he lived to tell about it.

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