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Showing posts from February, 2009

"Real" is a Relative Term.

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So I have a secret love.
No, it's not another man.
It's a women.
Well, actually 5 of them.
{Six, if you count Laurie.}
I love the Real Housewives of Orange County.
 {"Real"  oh the irony.}
I just watched the "reunion episode", man, it cracks me up.  
Grown women bickering, accusing, crying, lying.. oh, it was just all so good.
Vicki's face every time she disagreed with something... priceless.  I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head!  I love that she said Lynn made her cry... yeah right.  She eats a Lynn every morning for breakfast.
Tamara- you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you'll never take the trailer park out of the girl!
Jeana- Could you make more excuses for your rude, obnoxious son?
Lynn- even her crying was delayed by 20 minutes... it's like she got the insults a half hour later.  She is my least favorite... and could her legs have had anymore spray tan on them? Weird.
Gretchen- as much as I don't want to believe Tama…

I'm baaackkkk

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First of all, Welcome to my place SITtas!
Let me introduce you to Ava, my blog.  Isn't she pretty?
Next let me thank the 14 wonderful bloggers who babysat Ava the past two weeks... scroll down for some great posts.  You ladies were awesome.
Take a look around and let me know what you think.
A while back, I wrote a 3 part story about a crazy lady in my book club and her abuse of the term "LOL".  You might find it entertaining.  That's Here.
Besides being the co-founder of SITS, I am known for something else in bloggyland... the term Crackliture.  Initially, I coined the term to describe the Twilight Series and it caught on quite quick... google it if you don't believe me... but don't steal it... {I.copyright.everything. }
And, if that's not enough, check out "My Best Posts" over there to the left.
Have fun and come back and see me again... I mean if you like what you see, why not follow me? Right?  Right.

Reminders.

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Hi all! My name is Rachael, from Little Bites of Heaven. Before I get into the post, I want to first say that I am incredibly honored to be able to guest post for Tiffany...so, thank you Tiffany for trusting me with Ava. Initially, I set out to write a humorous post, but honestly...I am not really all that funny. I do try, sometimes. But my attempts are usually met with a crickets chirping type of silence. So...I figured I would spare you that pain and instead share with you something that has been on my mind.

Every so often, I get little reminders that my life is finite + fragile.

They can be internal or external, they can be personal or impersonal, they can be tiny nudges or full blown shoves; the impact tends to depend on what is required at that moment in time. I am always looking out to see what comes next, but as it so often goes, I am never ready for them. And yet their timing is, somehow, always perfect; hitting right where I need it, just when I need it.

And there reall…

I Snuck In Here...

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Psssssssst....
Today is Tiffany's birthday, y'all. Give her mad love and blissful greetings, OK???




HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIFFANY!!!!
Love you,
Lula
p.s. Don't kill me!





TMM and RFD are BFF's Forever or Something Like That

Hey there everyone!

(I don't know why, but I start a lot of my emails and stuff with that phrase. It's casual and fun yet not too cozy. Ya know?)

I'm Tiffany's friend C.

(Right Tiff? You'd say we're friends, right? Can I call you Tiff? I've been meaning to ask you that. Or does that nickname bug the heck out of you? I'll let you call me a nickname. But you have to be nice about it. I'll even tell you what my family calls me. And no one else in bloggyland knows. Of course, you know a lot of things no one else in bloggyland knows. And you better keep your mouth shut cause I've paid you quite the pretty penny in bribe money and...I guess I better not piss (can I say piss?) you off huh?)

Some of you may know me as Tattooed Minivan Mom. Yep. That's me. Don't worry. This is a strictly G rated post (minus the piss). You can keep your eyes open.
(And before I forget, if you have a chance today, stop by my blog. My very next post will be my 100th and…

I'm On To Your Little Game, Gymboree.

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Got a little girl?  Then you know all about Gymboree - the overpriced children's boutique that sells perfectly coordinated "collections" with corny names.  (Just so you know...it's owned by satan.) 

You walk in and find - oh, let's say a sweater with a pink butterfly on it - and surprise! there's a matching cordory skirt and - ooh! look at the darling tiny butterfly tights and - oh my gosh, look at those butterfly hair bows! and before you know it you have $80 invested in one crappy pink butterfly outfit that's carefully stored in your daughter's closet waiting for THE perfect opportunity to be shown off.  (Like a family holiday where your offspring has to one-up your sister's kids.) 

When that far off day finally arrives, you hover over your daughter protecting The Precious (the outfit, of course, not the kid...who cares about the kid?) and scream whenever your daughter goes near a Crayola product or dares to reach for a condiment.  She's m…

10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

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Hey guys! It's Summer from Le Musings of Moi, and I'm more than happy to help Tiffany out with her blogging vay-cay. Only, I just realized I was supposed to post this Tuesday not Thursday. Oh no. Bad bad guest blogger. But, hey they both start with T's. Does that excuse it? What about the fact that my three year old is up out of bed a thousand times a night? Or that I'm on a dumb diet that has taken away my mind?

Regardless, here's my post, and tomorrow Tattooed Minivan Mom will take it away. (I'm so so sorry, Tiffany!)

So, you should know that I'm considering the occupation of motivational speaker. You know, it's just that I have so much wisdom inside, and it's all I can do not to bust it out to every person I see on the streets.

Especially when it comes to marriage. I just feel that everyone should know the secrets I have within me. I mean, you think "The Secret" is motivational? Well, just wait till you hear mine.

What secret…

Either I'll become social or...

I'll continue to hide from strangers. (And talk about them on the Internet.)

We went to the park a few days ago. When we arrived there were several Moms, all whom had other mom companions. We arrived just before lunch since we were going to have a picnic. All the mothers did there motherly stare down at which point they decide who I am, what I am about and whether or not I'm worthy of a hello.

Okay, so maybe that stare down thing is just my imagination running wild but it sure feels that way.

Let me start by saying, I keep to myself and have not one single friend within a 30 mile radius of my house. Okay, so maybe that makes me sensitive to other mothers who actually have friends. Whatever. That is so not the point.

Also, until 30 days ago I didn't need any friends. In fact, I didn't have time for any friends. Clearly, now? I'm desperate. But, that desperation is for another post.

First, I need to tell you about the playground. The ever loving playground and the mommy&#…

Dearest Girl Scout Cookies

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Dearest Girl Scout Cookies,
Yes, it is that time of year again, and I for one am terribly excited as usual.  SO excited in fact I ordered FIVE boxes this year.  Oh yes, all of my old friends are there from the decedent caramel delights, to the thin mints, and peanut butter patties.  Even my new friends the chocolate shortbread and healthy lemonade ones.  You are all there.  But I need to introduce you to a not so good friend of mine.
Cookies, I would like to to meet Mr. Diet.  Yes, I know you have never met before.  You see cookie time is ALWAYS in February, and Wep has usually given up on Mr. Diet by the time you come visiting.  But this year is different and you will need to work together and play nice.  Now don't be scared, Mr. Diet isn't as mean as previous years, there is only one rule.  Read the portion size, and only one portion per day.  So I only have one question for you...
TWO COOKIES?  











Are you kidding? Who eats two cookies?  Surely that is a typo and you meant two SLE…

Conversation Instead of Confrontation.

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It's that time of year again, y'all...these ubiquitous candies will be distributed by the hundreds of thousands over the next couple of days.
Generally known by their given moniker, Conversation Hearts, I prefer to call them by their true description: flavored chalk. I have never been a fan of these little gems, however my girls will down them by the handful. Meanwhile I'm begging, "Hey, let's see if we can use these hearts to write on the driveway!" Seriously.Over the years I've read stories written by Romeos and Juliets, who owe their love to the clever boldness that is conversation hearts. "Johnny gave me a heart that read "Call Me" when we were freshmen in college and we've been together ever since!" gushes Susie. Or, "Mary revealed her intentions by giving me a "Love You" heart on Valentine's day," recounts Bobby. Gee, Mary...way to play it like a guy. Yeah, they're cute...they're small and heart…

Blogopause - Or How to Break it to Them Gently

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Today it's my turn to give Ava ( the name for Tiffany's blog) a lesson on the facts of life...here goes. When you're all done reading this (if you even get past the title) swing on over to my place and see how Debbie Does Dallas ** thanks, Swirl Girl

**mostly because I am a comment junkie and I need a fix. Also because Tiffany asked that I keep the 'naughty language' to a minimum here, but I am free to unleash over at my joint. And, unleash, I usually do.
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Dearest Ava-

I think it's time for you to learn about the facts of life. Your author won't discuss it with you because , well - she has a son and isn't verse on the delicacies of discussing these things with a 'tweener (yet). So, mommy asked Auntie Swirl Girl to have this little chat with you. My pleasure, since at least somebloggy here will listen to me....unlike at my place.

I know you are still young and all…

who wants to be a writer? anyone? anyone?

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Hello all!Jennifer P. here! So happy to be guest blogging for Tiffany while she is out hob-nobbing with the celebs(or at least their assistants...)

This year I am finishing up school to get my degree in English with a Writing emphasis. For as long as I can remember, I have always been a writer. From the first book I won an award for in 1st grade (it was about litter box training my cat and came complete with drawings of stick figures picking up poop...!) till the present day--I have never had a period in my life where I wasn't writing SOMETHING!
Right now I am taking a poetry class taught by a well-known local writer, J.Reuben Appelman. He was on Oprah a few years back as part of her book club review. He wrote a documentary that was produced by George Clooney. One of his movie scripts was a finalist for HBO's Project Greenlight. He was the first Boise State University Master's grad to be published. In other words, he's living off of his writing.

He's a little curious …

Snow Daze

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Veggie Mom here, helping Tiffany out today. Let me just say I’m honored to help launch what I like to call “Project Ava.” I know I’m trying to fill pretty big shoes here. After you read what I have to say, I want you to do two things, if you please. First, visit my giveaway. Next, show Tiffany some Comment Love by reading one of her Best Posts Ever, Generosity & Gratitude. OK, here goes. Hope you enjoy what I have to say!

The white stuff makes me sneeze.

At the ski resort, I’m the one dressed up in the colorful sweater, who’s really into the après ski. With a heavy emphasis on the après. I’m the first to cast a vote for hot cocoa with plenty of those teeny-tiny marshmallows. But I’m also going to be the one who doesn’t need the infusion of warmth because I haven’t been outside all day.

I fear I have a phobia.

When other children were out building snowmen, and pummeling each other with snowballs from behind ice-fortified front yard forts, I was usually inside with a book. Snow ice crea…

Who wants to Guest Post?

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So you, know Ava and I have been going through something.
We are working on it, but this coming week also happens to be camp enrollment so my life will be NUTS.
Veggie Mom offered to guest post and I am thinking hell to the yeah!
So, if you'd like to guest post for me next week, please leave a comment here and I will choose randomly (or whoever offers the most money.)
Veggie Mom gets the first spot, cause she's the genius with the idea.
Here's the twist... when you guest post, you have to include a link to your favorite R Family post at the bottom... I'm a pimp, remember?
I think this will really help me out girls.
Thanks.