Blogopause - Or How to Break it to Them Gently

Today it's my turn to give Ava ( the name for Tiffany's blog) a lesson on the facts of goes. When you're all done reading this (if you even get past the title) swing on over to my place and see how Debbie Does Dallas ** thanks, Swirl Girl

**mostly because I am a comment junkie and I need a fix. Also because Tiffany asked that I keep the 'naughty language' to a minimum here, but I am free to unleash over at my joint. And, unleash, I usually do.
Dearest Ava-

I think it's time for you to learn about the facts of life. Your author won't discuss it with you because , well - she has a son and isn't verse on the delicacies of discussing these things with a 'tweener (yet). So, mommy asked Auntie Swirl Girl to have this little chat with you. My pleasure, since at least somebloggy here will listen to me....unlike at my place.

I know you are still young and all fancy free and all, but let me tell you darling - being a blog is not an easy thing. Oh sure, had you been born a magazine article or a simple flyer on the community board at the Man Store (Home Depot) we would not have to have this post-ersation. You are a budding young blog, who is growing by leaps and bounds. You've already mastered the best friend thing (hello, SITS) beautifully! Sharing your time and thoughts and feelings. Spreading the love, so they say. But when you start spreading your love the way you are doing, and I thought I told you not to spread your love until you were 30 by the may be time to visit the Blogocologist.

You see, your author gets tired...I know this is hard for you to believe, but yours are not the only keys she strokes. Yours is not the only Intel Pentium processor that she feeds. She loves you yes, but you have to recognize the symptoms you have been experiencing as part of the normal course of life. I think, dear Ava, that you are experiencing PeriBlogopause.

One of the first signs that you are going through 'the change' is that the frequency of posting changes or dimishes. What was once daily has turned into twice weekly - if that much. And, that's okay. You don't have to shine all the time ...we readers love you no matter how often you share with us. Be it a quickie 'chello', or a photo montage , or something like this where you extoll the virtues of your hawt blogocologist - whom , by the way - I have an appointment to see next Thursday. Consider yourself lucky , Ava - when you get as old as me - and I am in full blown Blogopause...sometimes spreading your love, even for a professional Blogocologist - is not as easy as it looks.

Alas - poor Ava : there is no Blogmone replacement therapy available for what ails you. You just have to boot up and chill. Maybe a nice aroma candle ( I suggest you stay away from the hot bath , you know for the electrical shock avoidance), and a bag of Oreos will do the trick. Let mommy's fingers do the walking when she feels like it. There are no rules in Blogosphere. That's why they call this a Bloggy practice and not a perfect. Just practice safe blogging, don't let unauthorized people into your admin, and don't share your password with anyone.

Feel free to call on your old Auntie Swirl Girl anytime. And remember - I will always have gum.


Anonymous said…
My grandma always had gum in her purse too!

I love you Auntie Swirl Girl!

Bestest storytime ever!

You forgot to mention that for the occasional itch, Ava might want to try some blogisil...
Unknown said…
LOL...this was funny!!!

I love it Man up lil bloggy...
Jen said…
I guess the change just has to happen.
Lula! said…
TMM said "blogisil." OH MY HEAD! Awesome.

This was brilliant, Auntie Swirl Girl. PeriBlogopause? You are a genius.
Ash said…
Oh thank God there is an official ailment!

I thought it was all in my head.
Tiffany said…
okay, this is hysterical.

Swirl girl, you are hysterical.
Ashley said…
Bwahahahahaha!!!! What a good lesson. Wouldn't the bologsphere be a better place if we all practiced safe blogging. Haha! ;)
Mariah said…
Periblogopause-- OF course that's it! Listen Ava, I agree, you need to man up!
Jennifer P. said…
Poor Ava--She seems so young to be going through the change already.

Nice post Swirl Girl :)
TuTu's Bliss said…
LOL "practice safe blogging" I LOVE IT!!! Hugs, Jen
Susie said…
That was very funny and creative! Love it:-)
Lucia said…
I always loved a good Aunt-to- blogniece talk. So funny! Off to check out your site now!

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