Liar. Liar.

Things I say that make me a liar.

"I'm just going to run into Wal Mart real quick."

"I'm happy to help."

"I'm not really into vampires."

"No problem, I've got time."

"Yes, I made it from scratch."

"So good to see you."

"I'll be off the computer in a minute."

"I'm 32."

"I'd love to play xbox with you!"

"I am so happy for you."

"I couldn't eat another bite."

"You have a lovely home."

"Winning isn't what matters."

"Bless her heart."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Your turn.

What make you a liar?


kimert said…
"Yes, your hair looks nice today."
Jenn said…
"Good seeing you again." and "It's Fine." (usually said to my partner when having an argument).
Whoops, gotta go put my pants out!
Just Like June said…
Haha. I do so many of these.

"No, No. You don't look fat in that picture. It's the angle. Nobody looks good from that angle."

"Hold on hon. I'll be there in a minute" (when my husband wants to show me something I'm totally not interested)followed by: "the computer froze."
Ash said…
"I can't wait for the whole family to arrive for the Holidays."

Is it January yet?
S Club Mama said…
Oh no honey, you look great. You don't even look like you had a baby (insert amount of time) ago!

(and I'm very certain people say the same to me)

oh and "what a cute baby" (no, I usually just comment on their outfit if I don't think they're cute lol)
injaynesworld said…
Yes, dear. You're the best I've ever had.
Tiffany said…
You guys are cracking me up.
Jen said…
I can't tell you this. I don't want everyone to know my little secrets ;)
Swirl Girl said…
It's no big deal.
Good Morning.

just to name a few.
CaraBee said…
So is "Bless Her Heart" kind of like when homeless people say God Bless You? It actually mean f*@k you.

If I had a dime for every time I have said, I'll only be a minute on the computer, I'd be a rich woman.

But I'll tell you honestly, I don't give false praise. I don't say your hair/clothes/makeup/house/whatever looks nice if I don't think it does. Which means that I'm not heaping praise on people, but I'd like to think that they know I'm totally sincere when I do say it.
Aubrey said…
You've seen this shirt (shoes,jeans, scarf, etc.)before! or I've worn this before.

You know...when you don't want to fess up that you bought something new! LOL
Marie said…
That's okay.<--usually after someone has treated me poorly and then been embarrassed about it. I feel bad for them that they are embarrassed but it's not okay.
Stephanie Faris said…
"I'm fine." How many of us say that to our men to keep them from worrying about us? In fact, my boyfriend said he heard on the radio that if you ever hear your woman say, "I'm fine," she's not...and you'd better find out why because you're probably the cause!
Jingle said…
LOL! Well, I am with you on about half your list. I'd have to add this one..."I'll be right out...I'm just checking my email real quick." hour later....
jaz@octoberfarm said…
i don't lie about anything. i swear to you, i don't lie. it is just an awful trait to have.
jaz@octoberfarm said…
btw...i have a big giveaway going on my blog if you would like to enter. i will be doing 2 more giveaways before christmass too!
Trudie said…
Excellent post! You covered most of mine, I usually say that I have time, even though I am swamped. I also like to use "of course I don't mind..." even though I do.
Julia said…
"I'm just going to run into Wal Mart real quick."

Raising hand and owning up to that lie too ha ha
Anonymous said…
"I've been cleaning the house all day! That's why I'm so tired!"

Which kind of goes along with my...

"I don't ever get a minute to myself to relax. At least you get the drive to work and home!"
~ Noelle said…
LOL, love the Wal-Mart one!
You have to have heard me going in before!
~ A newbie at SITS
InspiredDreamer said…
So funny. "I'll get this report to you right away" seems to be the one I couldn't fulfill today. :) oh, and "I won't stay late at work today."
Kathleen said…
1. "We'd love to get together with you guys". Only said to one couple.
2. "This taste great". I have one dear, sweet friend who can't cook.
3. "Oh my gosh the band sounds great". Seriously why did my friend think that starting a band at 40 something was a good idea?
Anonymous said…
"Your receding hair line is barely visible"

"Yes I love those polka dot tights sweeties, they make you look so beautiful"

"I will be off the computer in one second, just one second please"

"I just have one last blog post to write, honestly"

Great post, most of your lies are def ones I do too ;-)
Unknown said…
Snicker...the vampire one is definitely my lie.

I just have to return one thing I won't be long I promise
Sarahviz said…
"I really like your Christmas sweater"
"Your new haircut is so...cute!"

"Sure, I have time tomorrow to work on that report."

"Yes, I already logged a ticket on that issue."

"Sure, Delia. I'd love to 'get you' again."

"No, it's no problem to come over to your desk now [and interrupt my work]."
Unknown said…
"BRB" -said to husband when stopping in to hang out with my best friend and neighbor.

"I'll just have one more..."-said when ordering a glass of wine at my favorite local happy hour wine bar.
Unknown said…
Hilarious, I've definitely been guilty of a few of those... and probably

"I just have to fix my hair, 5 minutes!" ... it's never 5 minutes.
Babe_chilla said…
I have a million:

"Sure I have time for that"

"No problem, anything to help"

"Do you want half of my X" usually said to the hubs, and always about food, which he has the nerve to TAKE

"I like getting up early"

"I really don't mind blow drying"

"Sure, come over"

"It's ok hunny, I can do the laundry/dishes/grocery shopping"

"I don't know, I don't ever watch the new 90210"

Danae Hudson said…
'You can watch football.'

'I'm fine.' (said to my husband)

'I don't eat french fries often.'

'I don't eat pizza.' (WHICH for the most part is true, but sometimes...sometimes...I will. If I have to.)
Live.Love.Eat said…
You covered some good ones.

How 'bout - Great post!

LOL - just kidding. I don't ever do the 2 word "great post" thing but I know a lot of people who do.
Cheryl Lage said…

"I'll be off the computer in a minute" is a HUGE one for me, too!

And the "southern disclaimer" of 'Bless Her Heart'----you always know that's followed up with a non-positive assessment! ;)

Hope you are hanging in Ms. Tiffany. Miss you!
I lied this morning when my husband made a move to get up with the baby, I said "I don't mind getting up!" although I really did mind (to be truthful I actually thought, it's that a-hole's turn!). Then I promptly fell back asleep.
I love your list!
OMG this is such a great post.

Here's mine:

"I DO like your new winter coat!"
Vodka Logic said…
I'm 42..

No that doesn't make your butt look big
April Greer said…
"I'm just checking my e-mail"
Ha you are so funny!
Lula! said…
*I never take naps during the day.
(And for the record--I rarely do. But even once a month is more than "never." Don't tell Scott.)

*I bought it on sale.

*Your kids ARE well-behaved.

*I'm too full for dessert.

*I've cleaned all day long.
(20 minute computer breaks--every hour--don't count.)

*No, I would've NEVER said anything about her behind her back!

*I've only gained 20 pounds in the past 5 years.

*I never let the TV babysit my children!

*She means well...

*I only spent $50 at Sephora.

And that's the biggest lie of them all.

Love it...
Brianne said…
" I went to the mall because I needed to return something"

"My kids do that too, don't worry its just a phase"

"Mmmm this is good"

So fun!
w said…
all of what you wrote.

plus. "i didn't have time to cook. i've been so busy with the kids."
Oh, honey, I had a great time with your aunts and uncles at the party!

Beautiful blog, btw. :)
Anonymous said…
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
How about...I'm only going to get one thing at Target!
Unknown said…
I can so relate to everything you said! OMGosh!
Unknown said…
I LOVE every one of these, I must admit, I have used them myself. I feel the need to come up with a complete list and can see a blog post forming from the idea. In the mean time, here is my big add -

"I just love her / him to death!"
kanishk said…
"Good seeing you again." and "It's Fine." (usually said to my partner when having an argument).
Whoops, gotta go put my pants out!

Work from home India
Candy said…
"it's no problem at all!"

Sarah Larsen said…
Love this! I am so guilty of a lot of these. Mine would have to be- I'm not really into Reality TV, it's too trashy for me. Just found your blog, and I'm really enjoying browsing through your rants and raves.
Mandy P said…
*sigh* this is hilarious! ...And hits so close to home for me! My fave: "I'll be off the computer in a minute." We all know what that means...
I was thinking about this the other day, all the little white lies I tell my son and whether this makes my mothering somewhat questionable.

In fact I think I'm going to write a post on this very topic. Will holla at you when I do.
Miz Dinah said…
Pants on fire! Hehe. Mine is, "I'm just running into Liquidation World; in and out, I swear!" Technically that is not a lie, because I entered and exited. There was just a 2-hour delay in between.

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