Panty Shopping.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words.  Diane was one great lady.  I know she would appreciate her memory being honored, and then she would tell me to move on with the par-tay, so here we go...

I took The Boy (who is 7) to a retail establishment the other day to purchase apparel for myself. He is a pretty easy kid and as long as it isn't too time-consuming, he can deal with me looking at stuff and even trying on a few things.. (while he waits outside where I can see his feet and he keeps talking.)

I don't have a problem with him being in the dressing room.  Lately, he has decided he doesn't want to hang out with me in there.  A little sad.  Sigh.

Anyway, this particular proprietor sells both clothing and underwear...dare I say lingerie?

So, I am in need of some basic cotton, which I begin to pile up and something bright, lacy and purple catches my eye... must have it.

Get it all together and take to the counter and the lady is ringing us up. 

Imagine 10 pairs of black cotton briefs, 5 wildly colored cotton in everything from hipster to thong.  And 2 lacy bra and panty sets.  Got it?  Okay.

Cashier: "You are so lucky.  My son would never hang out with me while I went panty shopping."

Me: "I am lucky." (I beam and pat his head, which I swear is like up to my shoulder, when did he become a giant?)

The Boy: (snapping out of some kind of daydream) "Wait.  Is all of this underwear for YOU? (His tone is riddled with shock and disgust.)

Me: "Um, yeah.  Who did you think it was for?"

He can't answer, as he is to busy making gagging sounds and rolling his eyes.

The Cashier: Giggling.

Me: (shifting uncomfortably) "Well, I guess he can send me that therapy bill in about 15 years."

The Cashier: Hysterical fit of laughter.

Me: (to myself) "Yeah.  Real Funny. Don't you have something to fold?"

© 2008 The R Family Diaries.  All Rights Reserved

Comments

Unknown said…
That is too funny. I guess he thought that you were buying gifts!
WheresMyAngels said…
Mercede about died when I bought underwear for her dad. She hates the "naked" pictures on the front (Mercede considers any topless male naked.)Now her sister Cheyenne, really likes them pictures ;)

Wait, you said a thong? Hmmmm (gagging noises), I hate how they go up my butt.
Amy said…
Funny. One of our favorite lines in our house is, "Tell it to your shrink kid." Makes everything seem a tad funnier.
suzspeaks said…
that is too funny! Whenever I am looking in that section now (with a 3 year old), he bursts out with "dirty underwear" a phrase from the Alvin & the Chipmunks movie!! It's not embarrassing at all...needless to say, I tend to go alone!
sassy stephanie said…
I'm all about shopping online.
Crazy Momma said…
Oh, man, the therapy!

Hysterical, just too freaking funny!
Unknown said…
Boy baby! You've scarred him for life! Now he'll never go shopping with his wife!

Too funny!
I am so curious to know what he was thinking before you announced that they were your panties. Poor guy. My poor husband has to listen to all the women in this house refer to his undies as panties :-)
Heather said…
I can TOTALLY see him making those faces!! That's hysterical.
~Sheila~ said…
How funny!
My 7 yr old still hangs out with me while I shop as long as he can get a candy or gum.
Anonymous said…
That's great! Did he think you were buying underwear for friends? I love how it suddenly dawns on him that you might wear it. :)

Oh, and he won't need therapy until he sees your purple, lacy thong caught on the ceiling fan in your bedroom. Ha!
Peggy said…
How funny! Yes, he's at the age when these things start grossing him out. My grandson, age 6, happened into the bathroom where my daughter was in the tub and commented that her boobs looked smaller. Time to use the lock on the door!
Anonymous said…
That is truly funny. I can't even imagine underwear shopping with my daughter but then I am terminally shy.
Just Lisa said…
LOL! I love it! One of my favorite things about parenting is how much I'm going to be able to embarrass the kids! I can't wait until they get into Jr High!
Unknown said…
That is soooo funny!!! Wonder what her was daydreaming about, before he got yanked back to reality!!

I do the 'Just stay where I can see your feet' thing as well and the 'You better get back here because I can't see your feet or I'm going to have to come out there and I'm only half dressed!!!'

Which usually causes muffled laughter from the other Mums and Grandmas in the dressing rooms.

Last time Taylor decided to hide from me in the middle of a clothes rack, she told me, after I'd stopped to take a breath while yelling at her. 'But Nana, my feet were showing!!'
Unknown said…
Oops...didn't mean to give 'The Boy' a sex change!!!

'Wonder what HE was daydreaming about...'
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Party of 5 said…
LOL Little Man is 9 and will help me choose things for the most part. Even goes as far and running back to grab another color or size. He will not however go into the "panty" area with me. LOL
Jen said…
Maybe someday, you know after he is married and in a sable relationship, he will thank you b/c he know what kind of underwear woman like. ;)
Anonymous said…
Careful with that thong...remember my embarASSing story!!
Unknown said…
Well...that's a boy for ya...too funny.
Anonymous said…
Hahaha! That is too funny. I'm curious who your son thought the underwear was for? A gift?
The last time I went panty shopping I found out they are not all sized the same......I thought they came in S, M and L. But then I found out there's also like 5, 6, 7, etc. When I asked the person who works there how I know my size she looked at me like I just arrived from the moon. Not that that story has anything to do with yours......but it reminded me. :)
Unknown said…
Leave it to our lovely, dear children to add that little extra something to our daily lives.
Gagging sounds?
Our precious angels, right?
Anonymous said…
It's funny how we can be oblivious what our children are thinking...funny. Wonder who he thought the panties were for.
Rhea said…
That's pretty funny. My boys would be grossed out but laughing. They're weird that way.
CaraBee said…
So funny! I love the crazy things kids say!
Lula! said…
This is why he will be my son-in-law one day.
Swirl Girl said…
I think it's so funny that our own kids don't think we wear underwear. My girls crack up when my 'bubble holders' are even in the wash, much less being with me when I buy them.
Jennifer P. said…
I read this post and the one about losing your family member back to back, and I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry with you. I guess in both cases it sounds like you need some consoling :)
Giggles said…
Hilarious and well written...loved the ending too!

"Me: (to myself) "Yeah. Real Funny. Don't you have something to fold?"

hahah still laughing!

Hugs Giggles
Lisa said…
You know,, kids are a hoot!
carrhop said…
Love it! Lacy thongs are fine--as long as they're not for mom!
Blessings!
Kori said…
Hilarious. Any time I come close to the panty section the boys are trying to push each other into the racks because apparently new clean panties have some kind of cooties.
Maternal Mirth said…
My sons wont't do any "girl" shopping ... ever!

Hysterical post:)
Anonymous said…
That is too cute!
Jayne said…
That's funny! I've got all that to look forward to! Nice to meet you :)
Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tinabean said…
This is so funny I think my son was 8 or 9 when we (my daughter & I) drug him to the mall.
We used to go shopping like every 3 or 4 days I swear it was good times.
Anyway we were in one of those jewelry stores that sells the cheap stuff like (Clair's or Icing) anyway my son is just tagging along dragging his feet behind us.
The store was pretty packed they were having some kind of sale.
My son grabs his stomach like it hurts & he's gonna throw up.
I ask him if he's ok & he says to me no.
I ask what's wrong & he says
"I Think I have Mall Sickness"
The entire store erupted in laughter.
Well I don't drag him shopping anymore which makes him happy.
Anonymous said…
hilarious! my boy (same age) is okay with those things, but I have a feeling that is going to change soon!
Candid Carrie said…
Mrs. R -- Take this tip from someone who knows, seriously.

Invest in a journal that YOU really like. One for journal for each child. Also purchase some fancy pants pens that feel good in your hand.

Whenever your child has gone through something you think may be potentially scarring such as the panty shopping incidient or the escapade where he commented about your wasting time and your adorable response ... Well record it in the journal. In detail.

Later, when he does (and he will, they all do) end up in counseling give a copy of the journal to his thereapist.

It will shave time off the shrink bill AND be a small insurance policy for yourself against any repressed memories that may surface.

Any witness to the evidence, have them date and sign it, too.

Am I kidding, partially? Will it work? Totally.
Unknown said…
LOL...Carrie...that's a brilliant Idea!!!
Debbie said…
Oh Tiffany...that is absolutely hilarious....and I see nothing wrong with what you did. Not one bit. Soo soo funny.
Teri said…
Oh heck, I made my kids go with me into the dressing room as long as I could because I was afraid they would wander off. Oh, and around here, we call the boys underwear "manties." :-)
Anonymous said…
hahaha. It's funny how kids spend so much time off in their own little worlds - then bounce back into the present at JUST the right moment. And with some interesting commentary on the part of your boy. :)

Who did he think it was for, anyway?? Maybe you should have told him the cotton ones were yours - and the lacy numbers were for dad....
Lex the mom said…
His incredulity (is that a word?) is hilarious! I ask, as many did - who did he think they were for? For real?

Too funny! My kids go in if I try things on, too - stay outside the door & talk - just keep talking.
Jenn said…
Oh joy the things I have to look forward to. At 4 and 3 my kids just still like to say the word boobie whe nthey see any thankfully in a dressing room no one else can see it was us:) As for age in a dressing room when does it become taboo? I don't want to scar my son but seriously people need to get a life its nature!

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