Dearest Girl Scout Cookies

Dearest Girl Scout Cookies,

Yes, it is that time of year again, and I for one am terribly excited as usual.  SO excited in fact I ordered FIVE boxes this year.  Oh yes, all of my old friends are there from the decedent caramel delights, to the thin mints, and peanut butter patties.  Even my new friends the chocolate shortbread and healthy lemonade ones.  You are all there.  But I need to introduce you to a not so good friend of mine.

Cookies, I would like to to meet Mr. Diet.  Yes, I know you have never met before.  You see cookie time is ALWAYS in February, and Wep has usually given up on Mr. Diet by the time you come visiting.  But this year is different and you will need to work together and play nice.  Now don't be scared, Mr. Diet isn't as mean as previous years, there is only one rule.  Read the portion size, and only one portion per day.  So I only have one question for you...

TWO COOKIES?  












Are you kidding? Who eats two cookies?  Surely that is a typo and you meant two SLEEVES of cookies, right?  I mean I would need to eat two BOXES of Thin Mints to equal a serving, right?  Since I get to have a whopping four thin mints, right?  Let's get serious cookies, that's a little extreme no?  I mean I bought your healthy Lemonade ones, doesn't that earn me an extra cookie?  What if I work out, can I earn cookies that way?  Let's put a chore chart on the fridge.  I'll earn more cookies I promise.

Do you know what I have had to resort to?  The coworker who I bought the cookies from is maintaining possession of the cookies.  I get rationed out a box at a time.  I had to argue with him to switch it up from Carmel Delights to Thin Mints.  But still, only two cookies? 

It's like crack.  And rice cakes are my methadone (is that what people take methadone for?  I don't remember but it sounds good).  And believe me those carmel cakes are NO DELIGHT.

I can quit anytime I want. I swear.

But until then, please baby baby please can I have three? 

Love and chocolately kisses,

Wep



****This Blog is brought to you by Wep while Tiffany is away.   This post is inspired by Tiffany's open letter to Tampax.  One of my personal favorites.  ******

Comments

Amy said…
Cookies? No cookies. It's just running for nothing. :)
I'm kidding. My kids love those S'Mores.
Death and taxes Wep and girl scout cookies.
Heather said…
I love the tagalongs. They are my drug of choice.
CaraBee said…
Seriously. It's my theory that the person who decided that two cookies was a serving obviously doesn't like cookies, because that is just plain WRONG.
Lianne said…
There's a reason they call 'em "Tagalongs." You eat 'em, and there they are, right on your hips for the next 6 months. That's what I keep telling myself, anyhow. And they should re-name the others "not-so-thin, but if you wanted to be thin that badly you wouldn't be eating them mints. I'm just sayin'.
jori-o said…
I love Wep's open letters. This particular one reminds me of Monica on Friends. Remember that one??
Becky said…
Thank you so much for making me laugh! That is the funniest thing I have read today. I, myself, think a serving is a box and I am sticking to that.
RC said…
Those pesky Lemonades, only two!!! That's just shameful.

Love your letters Wep!!
Alison said…
So funny! I love the "letter" posts.
Aunt Julie said…
Ah the Fair Maidens brought Thin Mints and Samoas to my door just the other day. Woe is me!
Tiffany said…
You know how I love your letters.. now a letter about girl scout cookies?? You are a genius!

Thanks so much for guest posting!
Anonymous said…
We are getting our cookies next week. I have NEVER had GS Cookies before. I'm soooo looking forward to it. I think I may just have to send Mr. Diet on va-cay for a week!! ;)
Wep said…
I loved guest posting! You are all so sweet! As are the cookies. But that muffintop ain't sweet. It ain't sweet at all.
We were assaulted at Irish dance class by hordes of Girl Scouts. Luckily I got away with 5 boxes...it could've been much worse! I am sending them to my sister in NY so I won't go nuts and eat them all! Keep your pimp hand strong, Wep!
Susie said…
That is too funny. Girl Scout cookies will take out even the most serious dieters!
The thin mints call to me. They call to me to eat them all:)
Rhea said…
Two cookies does not a serving make.

It's more like whetting your appetite...
Ash said…
And honest to goodness, do those darn things get smaller and smaller each year?

In about 5 years we'll open the box to find only air, and will still only be allowed two "puffs" per serving.

Grrr.
Um, yeah, I would err on the side of the idea that they meant 2 BOXES for sure. I mean they are putting smaller cookies and less of them, so really by my math 2 boxes of this years cookies are the same as 2 cookies from 10 years ago, right? carry the 1... Yep, one in the same! Thats my solution and I dare anyone to disprove me. Go ahead, try. lol
Honey Mommy said…
No kidding! Who comes up with these ridiculously small portion sizes anyway? We all no nobody ONLY eats that many!
Shannon said…
I agree these cookies are like crack! Trefoils are my fave, and I telll myself since they're just shortbread, I can have as many as I want!
Anonymous said…
Show me a person who hasn't polished off a box of girl scout cookies on their own and I'll show you a liar.

I guess the good thing is that they keep raising the prices and giving you less and less cookies right?

That is good no?
Colleen said…
Can we just talk about the fact that EVERY serving is two despite the fact that there are like 50 cookies in the Thin Mint box and only 20 in the Tagalong box?!

Does that mean we can eat a whole box of peanut butter greatness but not both sleeves of minty love?

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