Dearest Girl Scout Cookies
Dearest Girl Scout Cookies,
Yes, it is that time of year again, and I for one am terribly excited as usual. SO excited in fact I ordered FIVE boxes this year. Oh yes, all of my old friends are there from the decedent caramel delights, to the thin mints, and peanut butter patties. Even my new friends the chocolate shortbread and healthy lemonade ones. You are all there. But I need to introduce you to a not so good friend of mine.
Cookies, I would like to to meet Mr. Diet. Yes, I know you have never met before. You see cookie time is ALWAYS in February, and Wep has usually given up on Mr. Diet by the time you come visiting. But this year is different and you will need to work together and play nice. Now don't be scared, Mr. Diet isn't as mean as previous years, there is only one rule. Read the portion size, and only one portion per day. So I only have one question for you...
Are you kidding? Who eats two cookies? Surely that is a typo and you meant two SLEEVES of cookies, right? I mean I would need to eat two BOXES of Thin Mints to equal a serving, right? Since I get to have a whopping four thin mints, right? Let's get serious cookies, that's a little extreme no? I mean I bought your healthy Lemonade ones, doesn't that earn me an extra cookie? What if I work out, can I earn cookies that way? Let's put a chore chart on the fridge. I'll earn more cookies I promise.
Do you know what I have had to resort to? The coworker who I bought the cookies from is maintaining possession of the cookies. I get rationed out a box at a time. I had to argue with him to switch it up from Carmel Delights to Thin Mints. But still, only two cookies?
It's like crack. And rice cakes are my methadone (is that what people take methadone for? I don't remember but it sounds good). And believe me those carmel cakes are NO DELIGHT.
I can quit anytime I want. I swear.
But until then, please baby baby please can I have three?
Love and chocolately kisses,
****This Blog is brought to you by Wep while Tiffany is away. This post is inspired by Tiffany's open letter to Tampax. One of my personal favorites. ******