Let's Get Uncomfortable.

Last night I saw Slum Dog Millionaire.  (yes, on a weeknight at 9:45.  it was heavenly.)

What a fantastic movie.  The story, the acting, the cinematography.

For those of you who don't know, the movie is about a young man from India's slums who goes on his country's version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"  He is answering all the questions correctly, and the police think he is cheating, as he has absolutely no formal education to speak of.

The answers have all "happened" to him.  Meaning, each answer he gets, he only knows because it happened to him personally.  

And, wow.  The things that happened.

I won't spoil it for you, as I am hoping you take the time to see it.

There are parts of his childhood that will make you cry.  But don't let that deter you.  Some of the best films make us uncomfortable, as they put other people's reality in our face.

The movie got me thinking.

Something I have always wanted for my son is resiliency.  

To be able to survive and even thrive in the face of real adversity.

To think on his feet.

To keep his integrity when giving it up would be easier.

To believe in possibility even when it doesn't seem to exist.

Setting our kids up for success doesn't mean making things easy.

In order for him to grow, prosper, and feel the sense of accomplishment of truly rising above a difficult situation, he must experience true adversity.

Sometimes we are so busy interfering with our kids lives, that we don't allow things to unfold. Our kids often don't get a chance to overcome, as we've already done it for them.

This week Oprah has a series of webcasts.  I watched Monday night's with trainer Bob Green. He was talking about that one of the biggest obstacles people have with exercise is allowing themselves to be "uncomfortable".  To actually exercise at a level that offers results, you have to be willing to experience discomfort.

Kind of like life.

To grow and expand you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.

Same goes for our kids.

Comments

Love this post! Was feelin' all mopey knowing I HAVE to exercise in the morning...Now I WANT to exercise in the morning...Thanks for the inspiration!

oh! gonna check out the movie this weekend...glad to know it's fab!

Hugs!
Doublebanker said…
Excellent movie.
Check it out, well directed and a lot of it is sad but true.

Just started a new blog with daily gifs...any feedback would be appreciated!
Doublebanker said…
New follower here too!
Summer said…
Now I really want to see that movie!

And I just loved this post!
Swirl Girl said…
What a great willingness on your part to let your son actually grow up.

great post
debi9kids said…
Fantastic post! Those are wonderful things to instill in your son.
TuTu's Bliss said…
Great post. Thanks for summing it up because I want to see it. On the rare occasion that I make a break from Princess Baby I am too busy rushing to shave my calves or touch up my roots before I get the milk tingle. I can't wait until she's weaned!
I could not agree with you more. I am reading The Shack with my 12 and 11 year olds and some of my friends were appalled b/c ***gasp*** bad things happen in the book.
My response was bad things happen in life and I want them to experience this glimpse of how God might want them to look at such challenges. Adversity makes us stronger and that is not something they will learn if we don't allow them to experience it.
Besides- we don't want them living at home till they're 40,right LOL
Great post!

I'll be adding Slumdog Millionaire to my Netflix queue since I'm curious to see it after they won all those awards at the Golden Globes.
Susan said…
I so agree that setting your kids up to be challenged is better for them than setting them up to have things easy!

When my boys were little I read an article by a mom who said she pictures the adults she wants her kids to be, then gives them the opportunities to get there.
Tami said…
Wow! "We have to be uncomfortable"...soooo true! Great post :)

I'm so going to see that movie.
ooooh - sounds good - I iwondered because I had never even heard of it and then it won all the awards...... great post
Rhea said…
I love this post.
Just love it.

I've heard this movie was really great and makes you think.
Stephanie said…
I hadnt heard of this movie before! Thank you I am so going to check it out!!

And you are so right. I am happy to hear someone say this!
Crazy Momma said…
Haven't seen it but I look forward to it.

And you are so right...I don't want to be uncomfortable, I don't want my kids to be uncomfortable...but really, I am just holding them back!
I just got off the phone with a friend of mine - and we were talking about going to see this. I don't think it's here yet.

But...the over protective parent. I can be like that sometimes. And other times, I am very hands off. There is not pattern to it...nor does it make any sense. But you are right in that I need my kids to fail. They have to learn that things don't come easily - and that the struggle is where they really learn.
Jen said…
what a great post. you are so right and I try to do this with my kids. they need to learn it for themselves with guidence of course.
Unknown said…
Great post...havent seen the movie yet...now i want to more than ever!
Ash said…
Wonderfully said (per usual). This movie is definitely on my short list to see.

I'm so with you on the adversity thing, but oh how it's so difficult to practice what we preach!!

I thought it hurt to be the one who's picked last. Wrong. It hurts way more to watch your child be the last picked.
Tenakim said…
Very nice! Good to think when you feel bad for something that happens to your kid!

Got goose bumps just reading about the movie- I want to see it SOOOO bad!
Laura said…
I have wanted to see this too. Now I know I will be sure to see it.

I have to agree I have seen the affects of "fixing" everything hard in my brothers and believe me learning to cope and rise above makes EVERYONE a better person.

Great post!
Cherie said…
Thanks for sharing, I'll have to check the movie out!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Pam said…
movie sounds great...it's an indie (independent) movie, right? will have to chk it out. far as exercise goes, i think i'm getting 'comfortable' with my routine now. i'm no longer sore...maybe i need to step it up? :)
KimmyJ said…
I have been dying to see this movie. I too have been so guilty of making things to easy for my kids. You make some awesome points, thanks for the reminders.
It is a great movie and I'm diggin how you bolded significant life words...love it!
Have a no nonsense balls to the wall fun weekend!
Kristin said…
Adding that one to my mile long list of grown up mivie I need to watch.
Amy said…
Wow, that is so true.
And yes, Slumdog rocked. What a great movie.
Ashley said…
I want to see this movie now that it has such a following. I don't think I'd heard of it before the Golden Globes.

And your inspiration - though I realize it was meant for life in general - is going to really get me going on my exercise. I've let it slip because waking up early is 'uncomfortable' to me. That's gotta stop!
Susie said…
My mom is the perfect example of never wanting to be uncomfortable. It has turned her into a parasite. Not the best way to be in the world.
N & H said…
Your blog is SOOO fun! Thank you for the laughs.
Star Forbis said…
I just wanted to say a personal Thank You so much for featuring me yesterday. It was overwhelming.
S Club Mama said…
Tiff, this is great. I think this should be on your BEST post list. I really hope to keep this in mind as Moose grows up. :)
Anonymous said…
Hmmmm, never tought of it like that before but it kinda makes sense.
Kristie R said…
I think I'll go check this movie out...I need to start letting my girls figure things out on their own, I do way too much for them
Anonymous said…
TRUE THAT. It's hard not to step in and fight our kids' battles or try to save them from some of their suffering (like middle school) but it's life's challenges that make us who we are. We think our kids should be sheltered, when really they just need a loving family to come home to.
Christy said…
so true...and as a teacher I have seen the "making it easy" thing WAY too much.
Aunt Julie said…
Hubz and I want to see a movie this weekend, and I think you just clinched it for us. Thanks!
Jenni said…
I really want to see that movie! It looks terrific!
Heather said…
Oh, girl, you are just so right! If we never let our kids experience the trials of real life, how on earth are they gonna know what to do when they are out on their own. We're not gonna live forever, are we?

Do not tease me about the sun and warmth in So Cal right now. I can't take it. I'm taking my shawl from Betty, cuddling up with my puppy and I'm gonna watch some back episodes of Big Love. 'Cause that's what cool people do on a Friday night in Ohio.
Unknown said…
Yay for exercising and I love Bob Green!
Colleen said…
Such a great post! As a "recovering teacher", I tried to tell my kids that when they fell it was part of life and important. They mad a bad decision, they were not bad kids. It was becoming more and more difficult with this "everybody wins" generation.
Keep up the good work!!
Casey's trio said…
What a thought provoking post. I'm going through a very uccomfortable time in my life and I hope that I see the growth at the other dies!
Lula! said…
I so want to see this movie...

and I loved this post. The Boy is going to be an AMAZING husband one day, 'cause he has such parents bringing him up right. Of course, I want him to be Libbey's amazing husband, but that goes without saying.
Casey's trio said…
And I have this movie on my netflix list because I know I won't get out to the theater to see it! I've also heard good things about Gran Torino.
nikkicrumpet said…
AMEN SISTER! I think the hardest times in our lives...and our kids lives are those that are painful and not what we would wish for them or us. It's the tough stuff that makes us strong! My daughter Lindsey was a cheerleader in highschool...she lived and breathed it...it was who she was and what she loved more than anything. She and another girl got enough demerits to get suspended. Stupid things like pulling up their socks during the game, wearing a jacket (In the rain and cold weather) that wasn't part of the uniform...stuff like that. The cheer instructor just didn't like her. The other girl's parents came in and did some crying and whining with her and got the suspension lifted. Which meant that she could try out for varsity cheer her senior year. I went in with my daughter...talked to the principle and the council that over saw the cheerleaders. We discussed what each demerit was for....then I turned to my daughter and asked her if she had known that these things were all against the rules...and if she had known what the punishment would be if she did them. She told me YES on all counts. So I gave her a hug...and then told the council to go ahead with the punishment. Which meant she could NOT try out for cheer her senior year. Needless to say it was the hardest thing I had ever done as a parent. The council members looked at me like I was nuts...they gave us all kinds of ways she could "get out" of the punishment. But I KNEW that she had to learn that when you knowingly break rules there is a consequence. She HATED me and wouldn't speak to me for weeks on end. She ended up joining the dance troup and loved it...actually liked it as much as she did cheer...and one day about 3 weeks before graduation...she told me that what I had done taught her a valuable lesson...she said she had always believed she could bullshit her way out of anything. And she admitted that she needed to see that it wasn't always gonna work. Years later she actually thanked me for taking such a hard stand. Parenting is NOT supposed to be easy. And the harder it is...sometimes means you're doing it right.
Kaza said…
Exactly. I'm working on that with my parenting but mostly with myself. I'm such a whiner!
Julie said…
Sounds like a really thought-provoking movie. I should check it out...considering I just saw Twilight for the 3rd time and had a major drool-fest.
Pseudo said…
I loved slumdog millionaire too.

ANd those things you want for your son, dead on. My son is 16 and it is a precarious path.
Alison said…
Awesome post, Tiffany. I agree with you that kids need to experience reality consequences rather than being overprotected from their choices. It's better to let that happen now than to wait until they are college students and their choices have serious repercussions.

Also...I know this is why I don't get better results with my exercising. I just don't push myself hard enough!
KatieSaysSo said…
ohhh now i want to see slumdog even more than i did!!!! awesome post tiff!
cherry said…
I have heard a lot of good things about this movie. Can't wait to see it. You are right about developing your own endurance & gaining cofidence in your own personal situations. Whether they be positive or not. Some things are meant to be learned on ones own. cherry
Shannon said…
Kinda like before my daughter was born, one of the things I wished for her was "independence" that she not be one of those girls who can't go to the bathroom by herself, or that she can't stnad up for herself or always need somebody to "hold her hnad,"...now that she is a stubborn 3, I keep reminding myself that I asked for this...
Tori C. said…
Hi from SITS! We went to see SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE a couple of weeks ago and both loved it (my husband hates going to the movies and even he said he liked it and was impressed)! It had some sad moments, but definitely had me feeling happy when I left! :-)
Jennifer P. said…
Dealing with an ever-moodier pre-teen, this was JUST what I needed to hear tonight.

Growing always hurts a little....or a lot! Thanks for reminding us.
What a fabulous post! And now I really want to see that movie! Hope your weekend was good. :)
Live.Love.Eat said…
I like that!!!! And so funny too because we saw Gran Terrino with Eastwood and talk about uncomfortable!!!!!!! But it was necessary to prove a point and tell a story and to make a little progress. It was an EXCELLENT movie!!!
LORI said…
VERY INSIGHTFUL, AND OH SO TRUE! I OFTEN WONDER WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN THE PEOPLE WHO "MAKE IT" OUT OF A BAD EXISTENCE INTO SUCCESS, AND I THINK THE ANSWER IS RESILIENCE AND A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I ALWAYS TELL MY KIDS AND MY STUDENTS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU TRULY HAVE CONTROL OVER IS YOUR OWN ATTITUDE, AND THE ABILITY TO ADJUST IT!
Willo said…
My brother says I have to see this! Apparently, he's right!
sassy stephanie said…
I am such a firm believer in making lemons out of lemonade. I hate the "excuse" some people use. Great things can come out of bad situations.
Anonymous said…
Hello from SITS. That movie is fabulous! And you have a lovely blog! :)
Rachel said…
oooo. this post gave me the tinglies. very well written!
I have also seen that movie and LOVED it! I think it was one of the best I have ever seen. This is my first time visiting your blog! :)
Tara said…
Wow....I had no idea that's what this movie was about. Great post....thank you!!!
Brenda said…
So true. . . we need to let them experience a little discomfort and the effects of their mistakes if they are going to grow strong. Like palm tress on the beach, they lean into the wind and survive.

Can't wait to see that movie!

Found you at SITS
Nicole said…
You are right.

It's just not always easy to let them make their own mistakes and being in discomfort even if it will let them reach their own goals with time.
MDtripmom said…
Well I've been a SITSta for about a month now and I'm just now finding my way over to your neck of the woods! :) I'm definitely going to have to check out Slum Dog Millionaire per your recommendation. Happy Friday!
Unknown said…
I have never heard of the movie but plan on seeing if netflix has it!
Anonymous said…
I love this post. When we saw Slum dog my husband and I said the same thing..we thought that those boys made it as far as they did b/c they learned through their tough experiences. Sometimes the not so good things are what we truly learn from, unfortunately. Thanks for this post!
Sunshine said…
Tiffany -- Well said! It reminds me of Wendy Mogul' book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. It's so hard to watch our kids get hurt sometimes, but they do get stronger for it. My 4th grade daughter had her first run-in with "mean girls" last year. I resisted the temptation to tell the girls and their moms what I REALLY thought of them. Instead, I listened to my daughter and helped her come up with coping strategies -- namely, get new friends! I am so behind on movies, but Slum Dog Millionaire is one I will see for sure. I watched on the Today show when they received their AA nomination. Thanks for the inspiration! Audrey
Tracy P. said…
Ain't it the truth!!!

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