The Beginning of the End
Candy Man called me from The Boy's karate studio to tell me some news.
News I knew was coming, but couldn't bear to hear.
The Boy told him that some kids were talking about Santa Claus.
Then he asked what a "myth" was. The conversation moved on before any information was dispelled, but it's coming. CM feels strongly that if The Boy asks, he needs to know the truth.
I just want one more Christmas. We are so close. The Boy has never questioned it until now.
We can stretch this out, right?
I don't now why I am so sad about this. Like really sad. Like devastated. Like bawling my eyes out.
I have relished his milestones, even the little ones, knowing that this is my only shot.
I cry myself to sleep on every one of his birthdays (my poor husband). And, while I celebrate him growing and and love seeing him develop into the wonderful creature he is, I mourn the passing of his childhood.
It's just going too fast.
The idea that my time with a child who believes in the magic of Santa is over, is just too much.
I know Christmas is still special, the traditions, the memories.
I'm just having one of those moments when I want to stop time.
Or at least, slow it down.
Great. Now I am going to be totally puffy tomorrow. Sigh.