Laugh Out Loud. The Final Installment.

Crazy Shannon... Now where was I?  Ah, yes, Ann had emailed me regarding the financial hardship a $5 toy would impose on her wine and food habbit...

So, after Shannon gets my response, I start getting more emails from her.  She is clearly creating drama in her head.  Everything I email to the group, she has to respond with some question or comment. Always using that dreaded "LOL" and always signing it, "Warmly, Shannon".

I continue to get more curt in my responses, and due to her total lack of social awareness, she either doesn't it, or doesn't care.  I send an email to the group saying that if they don't like the way things are handled, they should start their own group.  And, that drama and whining will not be tolerated.  Again, totally lost on Shannon

I decide that I am D.O.N.E.  I send this email to the ladies I LOVE in the book club (Shannon, Anne and Joy do not receive this):


Okay Ladies,

I had to write it now because I can't sleep until I do this, I am just tossing and turning!

Only some member of the book club known as "Books, Wine and Fun" will be receiving this email.

I started this book club thinking a few people would sign up, I wanted something that could not only allow me to share my passion to reading, but would also lead to lasting and meaningful friendships. A few people are making this too high maintenance for me to continue in its current form.

My previous email seemed to be heard only by those who didn't need to be told.

So, you will be receiving an email that that group is over.

The new group I am starting will be only between us and will not be on meetup I propose the following foundation to work from.

* We really work to plan meetings when everyone can attend.
*We really, really consider these books and offer crazy and fun ideas on how to do so.
*Gossip and Drama Free
*Open- Minded

I am so excited to have met you all, and for me its being overshadowed by those who are making this work.

I have thought long and hard about the best way to handle this, and for me, this is it.   If you don't agree, I totally understand.  All I ask is that you do not pass this on to the members that were not included, they just aren't a fit for what I am looking for (basically easy going) in company. I don't think these members would understand and I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

We can use Evite to schedule things and we can all use email.

I totally understand if this is not what you are looking for or you don't agree with how I've handled it.

Let me know if you are in. Our next meeting will not be on the 12th as I feel very strongly about everyone being included.

Tiffany

PS: For clarification, below is a list of the women receiving this email:
Natalie, Kyla, Sara, Fai, Rachel, Veronica, Michele, Isa, Danielle, Ereika, Colleen and Erica

So, I cancel the meetup listing and all the members receive a generic, generated email. Here is what I get from Ann:

Hi Tiffany,

I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have a name/email list of those involved so that I can continue it for those of us who would like to?

Thanks,
Anne

She is ready to take over!  Thank Goodness the crazy meditation, charity giving lady (me) is out of the picture.  Now she can just take over.  I tell her, it's all yours.  Enjoy (the 2 members that are left!)

Then, the dousy of all emails.  This is crazy long.  I thought about editing it down, but then it would lose some the utter craziness that makes Shannon so special.  So, if you think you may need to pee, or eat, or check on your kids in the next 15 minutes, do it now.  I'll wait.

Good, you're back.  I have highlighted some of the parts that really showcase Shannon's mental state.  I have also made my own comments in red, so you know what I was thinking.  Enjoy!


Hi Tiffany! (Exclamation point, really?)

I'm confused....did I do something to upset you? (You are just catching that now?)

Why have you removed me from the group? (Because you are crazy.)

Unfortunately, it's hard to tell someone's intent over the internet as you can't hear a person's inflection, hear their emotion, see their facial expressions or see their body language. ("Crazy" seems to shine right on through.)

If you feel that I have done something to disrespect you or the group, I would certainly like to have the chance to not only hear what I have done from you but I would also like to have chance to explain/defend myself. 

I would really like to stay in the book club as I thoroughly enjoy seeing everyone, reading these great books and having stimulating conversations with everyone about them. (You've been to ONE meeting)

I had such a blast at last month's meetup!!

Ironically, I almost wrote you an email today at length apologizing to you for misunderstanding all of the "extras" that you wanted to do for what would have been tonight's meetup.

Unfortunately, the baby that I take care of who is 4 1/2 months old was having nap issues since she has just learned how to roll over and is in a new, big crib, that I didn't have a chance to write you at length so I settled for the shorter email hoping that you felt better soon!! (Why do I care about the baby?)

To be honest Tiffany, I felt like it was mandatory that we do all of these things and I was a little offended as you don't know what my religious beliefs are and what type of charity I do for others on a daily basis, what my financial situation is and what I can and cannot afford to buy not to mention sharing things that we are grateful for can be very personal to some though that was changed to describing ourselves with one word. I have no problem bringing food or wine and I guess that the book clubs that I am used to are a little more simple in that you socialize, have something to eat and/or drink and discuss the book and THAT'S IT!!  (Offended?  Wow.  You are making me more sure of my decision every minute.  And, meditation is not religious.  It's sitting quietly and focusing...which apparently, IS against your religion.  Again with the financial distress regarding charity, but okay with buying wine!)

What I have learned over this past week from talking to others as I was not the only one feeling this way(though I will only speak for myself) is that you are super excited about this group and that you were trying to be creative and keep with the themes of the book.

I get that you weren't trying to necessarily force anything on us but unfortunately from your wording and from your initial description of this book's meetup, that's how it came across. (I come across forceful?  Did I write in all caps or something?)

I'm sorry if I misjudged you, I really am and even though I don't know you very well, you seem like a very sweet woman. (I actually wouldn't call myself a "sweet woman".  However, you got one thing right.  You don't know me very well.)

I, too, am a sweet woman and I would really appreciate you reconsidering your decision and would like to be given a second chance if possible as I think there were lots of misunderstandings throughout the week and a lot of things that got misconstrued. (Nope, no misunderstanding.  Your craziness is crystal clear.)

I hadn't had a chance to respond to your latest email to me as I was busy on the phone for 2 hours with a friend of mine from Ny and then Joy and I were on the phone for about an hour as well.  (Maybe you should get off the phone and shut your pie hole.)

I wasn't trying to be snotty...I am generally confused as I was getting conflicting emails as to whether we were having a meetup next monday or we were all going to try and meet before that because there was one person...actually later I saw another person say they couldn't make it next monday either....so two...that weren't going to be able to make it.  (snotty?  No.  Crazy.  Yes.)

Honestly, I feel that we have gotten off on the wrong foot and I guess I am a little baffled as to why others can say how they feel to you and yet when I do, I get thrown out of the bookclub.

I'm really upset right now Tiffany...I am not going to lie. (Don't lie.  Just shut it already.)

I don't want to feel like I have to walk on eggshells with you or scared that if I say something you will throw me out of the bookclub which is exactly what you have done...that's why I spoke with a few people over this past week to get advice from them on how to handle approaching you and talking to you.  (advice on how to handle me?  Get a life!!!!!)

I am not the type of person that can keep her mouth shut (No kidding.) when she feels strongly about something and I do wear my heart and my emotions out on my sleeve...if you feel that I was causing trouble, that certainly was not the case and not my intention. I was merely trying to figure out if there were others out there that were feeling the same way that I was, which there were and how I could go about letting you know how I felt.

I tried one time to let you know how I felt in regards to asking you not to send out emails discussing the book...atleast not mass emails to everyone... as we all get our books at different times and we all read them at different times and I got back from you what I perceived to be a snotty email so I was a little apprehensive about approaching you this time to let you know how I was feeling. (Snotty email.  At this point, I am in hysterics.  And, somewhat dumbfounded.)

The bookclub shouldn't be about drama at all but at the same time, we should all feel that we can discuss things openly to you and to each other without fear of repercussion.

I did misunderstand about tonight's emails since I had sent you an email earlier saying I would be able to make it to next week's meetup...so I figured that you would know to call me too but if you were only going by rsvps, I understand why I didn't get a call and why I was left out as my rsvp still says no. 

All I can do is to ask you to reconsider your decison once again in hopes that you will take my feelings and what I felt was going on into consideration...I would never say something to others that I wouldn't say to you as well so again, if you felt like I was talking about you behind your back or trying to cause trouble, that couldn't be farther from the truth.  (What version of the truth is that? )

I was trying to get some perspective and ironically I told Joy tonight that I was at peace with it and understood that that's who you are and that I would uncrumple my panties, finish reading the book and look forward to next week's meetup.  (At peace with it?  This is a book club that you have been to ONE time.  Don't mention your panties again, as I just threw up in my mouth.)

So, I guess I will respect whatever final decision you make Tiffany and if you do decide to stay with your original decision and not have me in the bookclub anymore...I wish you well too and please know that there aren't any hard feelings on my part. (My final decision is to never see you again. Amen.)

Thanks for taking the time to read this!  (Seriously?)

I do hope you are well and feeling better.

Take Care.

With Warmest Regards,  (Warmest Regards.  This is sincerity at it's best.)

Shannon

I responded with:

Shannon,

This is too much.

The book club is over.

THE END.

Comments

S Club Mama said…
do you live in my area bc I know a Shannon who is totally wordy like this and slightly crazy who tries to take over and such...weird world
guess I won't be naming my daughter (that I don't have) Shannon. ha
Lula! said…
Whew...

OK, remind me to tell you later about Shannon's separated-at-birth sister, who lives on the east coast. I'll give you names, specifics, and all the pertinent info. 'Cause I'm sitting here reading her letter and experiencing the strangest deja vu ever. And then I realized...oh, Shannon is obviously ****'s sister! Now it all makes perfect sense!

I so get it. I so get you. I know the pain. And I love you...for real!

Thanks for finishing the story. Enjoy your Sunday!
Anonymous said…
Seriously Coo Coo!
I wonder how many times she checked that email over before she sent it to you...trying to write "just the right" thing. Sheesh.
I love your reply.
Awesome Sista!
Rhea said…
Why, oh, why, did she have to mention her crumpled panties?!!
Sherri said…
Good for you to disband it the way it was. She is a long winded crazy person!! I can just imagine what a book club would be with her it. "Blah Blah Blah --listen to me" Did you end up keeping the club up with the other people?
Amy said…
I am so outta breath from her ridiculous banter. Can we say "TALK IN CIRCLES??" Whew!

Amusing though :)
Tiffany said…
Yes, Sherri, I am happy to stay the book club is in full force. This October will be a year!
Amy said…
Oh dear, Shannons cukoo for cocoa puffs.
~Sheila~ said…
wow...who needs all that drama when you are simply trying to create a nice fun atmosphere for people who share the same interests.
Glad you got rid of her.
Heather said…
Wow! My MIL has a great saying: "There ain't no cure for stupid"...I think you could totally substitute "crazy" and be just as accurate. Kudos to you for standing your ground and not letting her ruin your group. Also, thanks for welcoming me into the SITStahood...I'm so glad I found you. (And I promise I am NOT crazy...well, not most of the time).
Anonymous said…
Mrs. R,

Still can't stop laughing, peeing my pants and snorting reading about "Crazy Shannon".

I saw Joy at the park the other day, it was a bit awkward to say the least.

The worst part for me is the "warmly" part. It's so passive/aggressive it makes me want to scream.

Thanks again for posting and retelling such a great story.

xoxoxo
Rachel
Kori said…
All of this over a book club? Holy cow Batman! Crazy is an understatement. I know a couple of people like this. Would you like for me to refer them to your book club? Kidding of course.
Jen said…
Oh my, what an e-mail. It seems to go on and on and on forever. I am glad for you that that is over. Great story.
Jenn said…
I am so glad you kept book club going. I belong to a couple meetup groups and we have them private by referral only and if you are not right for the group in 30 days we kick ya out. And we have done it. Once we went private and by referral only the whole experience has been fabulous. Our book club cooks food that match the book. So if its in Italy we all try to make something reminiscent of Italy but you get the picture. Does Shannon know about your blog? I wish she did a few nutty comments could never hurt and might get a good laugh.
Swirl Girl said…
Geez- is this about a book club that you read a book or write a frickin' book!

If you'd asked me to join, I woulda come with wine and kept my trap shut. Just to read something other than a kids book would be great.

Hop on this Pop!
Unknown said…
She certainly sounds as though she was not the brightest crayon in the box!!

You are definitely well shot of her ... way too much drama ...
AFRo said…
Um. Hmm. This was the longest post that I've ever taken the time to read, but crazy is always like a train wreck and I just cannot avert my eyes from the drama.

Sounds like you made the smartest choice!
Caroline said…
What a whack job! As Lula says...Oh my head! And her saying "Warmly" just makes me think of the word "moist" which makes my skin crawl.
Party of 5 said…
I so lived this with another group. What is it with grown woman having to be in control of someone elses "baby". If you want to satrt something then do it but leave MY group alone. It would be like me telling you and Heather how to run SITS. Don't like it then stay out is what I say. Glad you dropped this chick.
I'm almost sorry this installment is over. Although with all those please reconsiders, you probably could have dragged it out into about 5 more. You're not kidding she can't keep her mouth shut. I enjoyed every comment you made. Every one. :)
Sassy Momma said…
Crazies make the best stories! Thanks for sharring, this is too funny!
Perksofbeingme said…
Reading that e-mail was made better by the fact I was eating popcorn. It's was like a reading a good (and yet horrifying) book. I couldn't stop, not matter how much I wanted to. However, on one hand I feel sorry for her cluelessness. She's going to have problems (oh wait, she already does). I think you handled it quite well.

Thanks for the comment on my post too. It meant a lot.
Aye de mi! I love that part at the end where she thanks you for "taking the time to read this!". LOL. A better sentence would've been "And now that your children are now married with children of their own, I will stop writing."

Seriously. No amount of that crazy should be allowed to be bottled into human form. Wow.
Unknown said…
WOW... I wouldn't have responded at all... she does seem like a total freak... Hello? Get a clue.
Good luck with the re organized group!
Jennifer P. said…
Someone let her be in charge of their child? I'm all for being emo and all, but that's a little over the top...
Debbie said…
She gave a whole new meaning to rambling...whew...that is some kinda crazy. She just went on and on and on...and I love the claim that she would never talk behind your back or say something to someone she wouldn't say to your face...She was on the phone with JOY for an hour...Oh she was talking bout you allright. Loved loved loved your reply. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL ;)

Warmly,
Debbie
Jill said…
wow... what a piece of work.
LaQuintamomof3 said…
I wish you lived closer the book club woudl be so much fun.

Shannon definitley has relatives in the desert.
LaQuintamomof3 said…
I wish you lived closer the book club woudl be so much fun.

Shannon definitley has relatives in the desert.
KimmyJ said…
Geesh, probably more drama than the acutal book, I bet! Also, if she has so many "issues" with the club why does she keep asking you to let her back in....hahaha!
Unknown said…
I need some friends... can I get Shannon's number?

BWAHAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAA!!!!!!
-Bridget said…
I think I lost an hour billing to my client to read all of that. It was worth it.
katylinvw said…
so what funny farm is currently housing our delightful young friend these days? abolutely nuts!
Tinabean said…
I am a Twilight Freak too!!!
I loved the Host also I can't wait until Breaking Dawn.
I'm totally torn between Edward & Jacob I think I'm still for Edward though & I really hope Bella becomes a vampire.

My sister just added SITS to her site she's a little new to this stuff but she has a great Business that she started herself (I'm very proud of her!) it's called Adult Dance.
Her classes are always full you should check out her blog it has more info about it.
You can get to her from my blog under Meagan.

I'm feelin for you with the who Shannon thing.
Some people just don't get it!!!
Danielle said…
That is too much! ugh. I'm glad it's over.

My annoyance meter was way up for you just reading that nonsense.

Good riddance, Shannon! "lol"
Alison said…
Whoa! Crazy as a bessie bug, as my grandma used to say. I think you handled it really well.
Anonymous said…
WOW! All that from meeting ONCE! That is one crazy chick. How's your summer? I miss you.
Heather M.
Kaza said…
Awesome! That was SO worth the wait! What a total nut bar. I especially love your reply to her. Classic.
KatBouska said…
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA gasp. AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAH single tear. AHAHAH AHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That lady is WHACK!!! Are you kidding me with all that. My favorite part was that a newly rolling baby kept her from emailing...boy I know how that goes. The baby starts rolling and your social life goes down the crapper.

...but she did have time to squeeze in a couple long phone conversations...with the baby rolling and all.

I love your response to her. I've never met anyone who wanted to be in a book club so bad. NUTTY.
Unknown said…
LOl...rolling on the floor laughing...I am going to file this away just in case I ever decide to do something crazy like this...cause I KNOW I would end up with her at my house....LOL.
John Deere Mom said…
You are crackin' me up! Love how you stood your ground and ended it so quickly after her L.O.N.G. a$$ email!
WheresMyAngels said…
OMGosh, does she ever shut up!
Finding Normal said…
Seriously? That's crazy. I'm glad you didn't edit her email...the length alone speaks volumes for her mental health. Can you imagine trying to discuss a book with her? She'd talk and talk and talk. UGH!
Anonymous said…
OMG....I cannot believe how long her email was!!! She made my head hurt. I bet your short response to her novel made her feel pretty stupid...probably not....she apparently didn't take hints well. She was definitely an instigator!!!
Rhea said…
I'm still in shock was a huge fuss she made after attending ONE meeting. This woman was lookin' for drama. A drama mama with crumpled panties and minions. Good riddance! Glad your club continued and is flourishing today.

I had a blog makeover that went into affect today!! A totally new look and address, so stop by when you have a chance. You can find me now at http://texaswordtangle.blogspot.com
Missy said…
Borderline personality disorder much? Amazing how much energy she must have put into that email!
Lex the mom said…
I just find it hard to believe that she took it so damn far! I mean, really - if she really had issue, any other adult would just leave. Unbelievable! Very well edited email, too.

I still can't get over the wine. Wine = good, charity = not enough money (5 bucks?).

I'd get annoyed with LOL after that, too. Did she really not use that once in her last email? I guess nothing was funny... 'cept when you threw up in your mouth.
Jen said…
I'm speechless. I read this after you posted and still can't think of a thing to say. She's worse than crazy.
Poor Shannon. That is classic psycho lady stuff. "Don't mention your panties again..." Ha! I, too, was grossed out.

Your response was perfectly succinct!
Insane Mama said…
Wow! What a whack Job! and like I said before, I started a meetup for hiking and it costs money and takes time...didn't she realize that you were just out to have some fun??? WEIRD!
Heather said…
C.R.A.Z.Y. Seriously.
Angie's Spot said…
I swear, I think Shannon shuttles her crazy between your town and mine. Nutso. Glad you're rid of her!
Teri said…
You couldn't have made that stuff up. Too funny!
Rascallion said…
Wow, what a nutter. I can't believe I read that whole thing, though my eyes did glaze over for a few seconds. I gotta run to the loo now, thanks for the laughs.
Kitty said…
I love it. I am so happy about your decision to kick her out of the bookclub. She is crazy. You ROCK.
Kat
Jill said…
Ok, I'm a regular on SITS, but sadly haven't been over here to check out your person creation. Hello - nice to meet you...

Had to respond after reading this hilariously long e-mail conversation. I would have lost my mind reading that. You handled it so well... I'd need a cocktail or 4 afterwards.
Cecily R said…
Holy Jr. High Batman! Unbelievable!!
Unknown said…
**I'm a different Ann. Ann-no-e **

Geez!
You weren't kidding about taking a bathroom brake before reading her e-mail
Your comments were perfect!
Anonymous said…
Just joined SITS and I decided to hop on over here and check you out...so glad I did! It;s nice to know I am not the only person who has "crazies" in their life!

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