Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear Josh,
I'd like to start by thanking you for your encouragement over the past 2 weeks. The high fives and positive re-enforcement during our workout rendez-vous have been most supportive.

However, I feel the need to tell you that breaking up with you crossed my mind today. Constantly. Especially for the 45 minutes you had me "boot camping" outside in the 85 degree heat.

I know the other ladies were jogging, and push-uping with no problem at all, but I'd like to remind you that in comparison to them, I am carrying a small third grader in extra weight.

Let's talk about jumping jacks for a moment. Shall we? This is not an exercise designed for women (like myself) who have a bra size with 3 letters in it. It's called gravity, my young friend. Look it up.

Now, I am not going to quit and go running back into the arms of an In and Out double double, or the sweet caress of Parlines 'n' Cream. I've promised myself that I will no longer darken the doorway of the local sit-on-my-ass-all-day. But I won't torture myself. I've been down that road before....

Like in high school, when I used to count every calorie I ate and would then work out to burn double that amount. Or when my friend Jodi and I thought we ate the whole container of Light Entenmanns and then realized it was full fat and tried to make ourselves puke.

Or like the time I dropped the weight with the low-carb, no-carb diet. Lost me a good 30 pounds. I should have known I probably wouldn't last when I walked by a bag of hot french fries someone had dropped in the street and I stood over them inhaling. Deeply. For five minutes. At least. As I am sure you have guessed, that weight came right back and brought her boyfriend to stay.

Well, I'm kicking them both out. I've commited to that. But jogging in 85 degrees isn't going to get me there. (And, it might get you run over by my car.)

So please. Save this relationship. Move class back inside, to the air conditioned goodness. Now.

Thank you.

Added 5.17
PS- Josh, forget everything I said. I just put on a pair of jeans that I couldn't get over my butt 2 weeks ago. Lead and I shall follow. Seriously. I'll do anything you say.

Comments

John Deere Mom said…
Too funny! I applaud you for making an effort. I, on the other hand, have been putting it off lately. I must do something once this crazy last week of school is over. Jogging in 85 degree heat, however, will not be it.
Candid Carrie said…
Hi Tif, We haven't met yet. I am Josh's hot friend Bradster268. I've heard all about you.

Alright, not really. Just me, popping in to say "hi".

Have a spiffy keen weekend in the lush green goodness of your neighborhood. We are just starting to get buds on our trees and the bees are not wearing parkas anymore. They have light fleece vests on instead.
Heather said…
First and foremost, I'm super proud of you. In fact, your sister and I were saying last night that we're so very proud of you.

Exercise sucks. I would totally do boot camp with you if I were there.

Is Josh cute? Because if he is, then we can forgive him for the rudeness of making you work-out in such heat. If not, then he needs to tread lightly.
Working out and I broke last winter - I decided I couldn't put up with his BS anymore.

Good luck with the heat.

Running in the heat blows.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by to say "hi", I'll be coming back as well!
Alison said…
I don't do boot camp--I doubt I'd make it through one session. I have found other ways to work out, mostly involving air conditioning and my iPod, that I don't hate as much. But somehow every week I find an excuse to miss kickboxing.
Tiffany said…
Heather...Josh is cute. And, you can see his abs through his shirt. I guess he is off the hook.
Melissa Lee said…
Actually, breaking up is not hard to do. At all.
But what do I know...I have chocolate syrup dripping down my chin right now.
Anonymous said…
Tiff,
85 degree weather is nothing compared to camp weather. Girl, I think you could easily handle 95 degrees...just think of the stamina you'll have when you're out on that blacker-than-black concrete in carpool :)
Cathy (not the one who won the visa card or is shopping at Target...right now, probably)
Debbie said…
Oh my goodness... I just choked on my sip of wine..well it is 6:19 pm here...so I'm allowed...to have my wine that is...that was so funny. Just hang in there sista...it does get easier. You are one funny girl.
Lula! said…
OK, I don't care how smokin' hot this Josh is...I believe that running in 85 degree weather is completely of satan. satan! (he gets no capitalization from me, thankyouverymuch.)

Now...if he wants to take it indoors, with some nice fans blowing and all, then that's another story. Bring on his abs!

Seriously...I just started getting serious about this weight loss thing. My goal is to lose a Libbey--that's my child. She weighs 51 pounds. Which is what I need to lose. But I will tell you this...I've been using my elliptical for at least 30 minutes a day this week. In the air conditioning...with a fan blowing...and Madonna & Justin Timberlake reminding me that they've only got 4 minutes to save the world...and smut to read (US Weekly, Cosmo, et. al.) while I'm going at it. Boot camp-schmoot camp. My way's easier!

Keep up the good work. You rock!
Jennifer P. said…
Working out in the sweltering heat--what fun! I guess when you ladies are all done being wives and moms, you could go track down some terrorists in Iraq or something ;)!

Air conditioning: It really is a good thing!
Connie said…
Right about now I'd run in 85 degree weather if Josh can get my MIL outta here.
scargosun said…
Rock on! Congrats on the jeans. Amazing how that can bring on a mood swing. ;)
Insane Mama said…
congrats on the jeans... but sheesh it is too hot! although sweat is good for your skin :)
KatBouska said…
That's the BEST feeling!! Burn baby burn. Work off those pounds and be happy about it!!! And then send Josh this way...
~Sheila~ said…
Almost makes me want to dust of my treadclimber and swiss exercise ball...........almost.
Daisy said…
Working out in the heat -- but what's the humidity? That's the killer. Drink lots and lots of water.
Okay, good looking vagina (only referencing your last post) AND triple-letter boobs? Do you want us all to hate you?

Congrats on the jeans!
Anonymous said…
I need Josh!
Way to go Mrs. Romero. Hit 110 here yesterday
Anonymous said…
Good for you!!!! I'm really proud of your efforts and determination. Isn't it amazing what we can achieve when we decide to do something? Can't wait to see you in those jeans:)
Rachel
jori-o said…
Haha! I love how you totally changed your tune when the jeans cooperated!
Jewel Allen said…
Funny!!

If I had a personal trainer, I'd workout outside of the workout so I wouldn't look bad to him :-)
Anonymous said…
ROFL OMG did that have me laughing up a storm!!!
Carrie said…
The bra-size comment--priceless...

I just started Weight Watchers on Monday and I think I'd probably seriously maim people if I saw fries right now...
Unknown said…
May I borrow Josh? PLEASE... I need someone to really kick my butt & push my beyond my limits...
(Although I did lose 6 lbs.. this week...think what Josh-y could do for me....)
Anonymous said…
Visiting this morning from SITS. Love your letter to your personal trainer! Congrats on getting back into those jeans....I hope you and Josh still have a healthy realtionship and you haven't had to run him over with your car! Have a great weekend!

Jamie
Debie Napoleon said…
So...has there been more time with Josh? Congrats on losing and I'm sure you are still on that road - maybe I'll catch up soon!
Kimmie said…
That's awesome your jeans are fitting again. I wish mine would but this baby weight (I have birth 7 months ago) just won't budge. Ugh! Popping over from SITS. Have a great day.
Heather M. said…
ROFL!

Send him my way!
Lesley said…
LMAO....That is one letter...I would have loved to have seen delivered.....Since it was written in may...hows the boot camp been going??? Or did you kick ole josh to the curb???
Leah said…
so funny...keep up the good work. although i'm not one to talk. i stopped exercising a few months ago. maybe this will encourage me to start up again. congrats on fitting into the jeans! :)
Unknown said…
Ha! Great letter! Congrats on the jeans. :) Happy SITS Friday!
S Club Mama said…
You are the funniest person ever! I love you!
kikibibi said…
Makes me want to go work out! At least it's 35 degrees now, not 85!
Anonymous said…
Happy SITS Friday!! This letter is so funny! Sorry about the heat, but yeah for the jeans you wore!! 85 degrees is not fun!
That's funny! Especially the post script. Thanks for the Mister Linky day. I love that guy!
Anonymous said…
I've had the same conversations with my trainer, Karl. Mostly in my head (and on my blog)!

I have a love/hate relationship with him. But I can't argue with the results. And he's pretty cute, too. ;)
Aunt Julie said…
I need a personal trainer. Seriously! Hiya, SITSta! My Great New Pop'rs Thanksgiving Extravaganza is still underway, so please come by and share some Comment Love!
Mamarazzi said…
fabulous! i am loving the PS...too good!
flickrlovr said…
Work it, lady! Loving the letter...these are always good. Have to love the personal trainers. Ahem. Especially when they give you those P.S. results ;) CONGRATS girl!

(New here from SITS!)
Givinya De Elba said…
Oh that was great! Very funny. Josh, grow a heart.
the mom said…
hi from SITS! Love it.
Ronnica said…
I don't think I would have handled it so gracefully! Oh, and definitely would appreciate something on the ceiling to look at.
Kate said…
I love the PS at the bottom!
you make it hard to like you with all that weight losing and stuff. I was loving your posts. . .and then you have to keep mention getting skinny, success, etc. : )

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