Boot What?

My understanding of Boot PMAC is that it's a military program based on separating the boys from the men and then turning said boys into men through grueling, death defying exercises. Right?

So why in the hell would I sign up for something called Boot Camp?

I'll tell you why.  Peer Pressure.  

A few weeks ago, my "friend" Mary (and I use the term friend lightly, as she is the one who roped me into this hell) said to me, "Hey, let's do boot pmac."  

I said, "Okay.  As long as it doesn't involve running or humiliating public weigh-ins, I'll do it."  (You all know why I said yes.  No way did I want Mary gettin' all hot and skinny.  Not without me.)

So, boot pmac looms ahead.  The instructor suggests we do some push up and crunches every night to get ready.  I talk myself into it twice, as I am in total denial of what is to come.

After a sleepless night filled with anxiety about being the fattest girl in the class, I get to boot camp to find out, that not only am I the fattest.  I am probably the youngest.  Great, this is just a real dream come true.  

 Josh, (our 21 year old instructor) says, "Let's start off with a light jog."  Of course we should jog, as my personal version of hell involves some kind of constant marathon.  Next, maybe I'll get to write my weight on my forehead.  In black sharpie.  Yippy.

After the jog, which I finished last,  (dead last.  like a 55 year old women finished before me last. )  we start the rotations.  These involve all kinds of positions and muscles I haven't used since the 1990's.  And, I must look really bad, because Josh's assistant (a very nice forty something lady with arms to die for) reminds me to breath. Like six different times.  Really, it's that bad.

At the end of class, Josh encourages us to journal everything we eat (which I am going to choose to interpret to mean everything I eat while sitting down) and our weekly weight so the other class members can hold us accountable.  Perfect, just what I was hoping for.


So, that first, horrific class was Monday.  I was going to post this then, but waited, just in case I decided to quit. 

Now that I have dragged my ass to three classes, I am thrilled to say I love it.

I love the feeling of pushing myself.  The commradary in the group as we hold on for 10 more seconds in "plank" position.  The hope that one day I will have that old body back.  The body that used to get me up a flight of stairs easily.  The body that wasn't too tired to play.  The body that looked great in a bikini (well maybe not a bikini, as stretch marks have rendered that impossible).  
The body that will carry me safely through the next 5 decades.

So, if you have been thinking about getting back into shape, here is a little peer pressure.  This time next year, I am going to be totally hot.  Are you?


~Sheila~ said…
Man. Congrats! Keep up the good work. I tried training for a marathon...which was all just running..and that is hard. Exercising will definately make you feel much better. (unless, of course, you are an elderly person being dragged out of bed by me to go to physical therapy...hee hee).
Candid Carrie said…
Alright Tif (and I am calling you Tif because I certainly don't want to spell the entire name the wrong way and maybe you are the kind of person that doesn't like Tif or run-on sentances, I don't know, I am just saying) ...

You may have been out-jogged by the old coots that first day however, I am guessing you could have totally out-blogged them even on their worst day. I am just shy of fifty and I double dog dare anyone to even try to out type me. I am a bad ass typer and I could totally run a kick ass type itty type type boot camp that would send every one crawling and bawling.

Betcha hot Josh is scared now!
Anonymous said…
I'm so very proud, (sigh). Keep up the good work. Maybe I'll join you someday, I'll give some serious thought after I finish my donut.
Sunshine said…
I was reading your post and thought..."she's sharing a bad dream"...wait, no that would be my bad dream (very, very bad dream)! Are you kidding me??? Boot Camp? I couldn't even type that out without getting cramps! Man, I am so proud of you for sweating through it and loving it. You are *so* going to be hot! Just don't forget the little (still jiggly) people, k? flipping ROCK!
Alison said…
Good for you! Our gym has a Boot Camp class every few months but I don't sign up because I Just. Don't. Do. Running. I'd rather do anything else, and do--Pilates, the bike, the elliptical, the treadmill, weights, kickboxing (but not all on the same day!) I feel stronger and my husband says I'm hot, so that's all I need to hear.

Seriously, though, the Boot Camp seems to be a great jump start as long as you keep exercising. My friend did it last year, and has kept running--she's lost over fifty pounds and is looking good!
Anonymous said…
so my husband bought me a three year membership to 24 hour fitness ~ when i don't work out, i tend to get ... um... grumpy (to say the least). i can actually feel all the pent up energy accumulating in my soul and causing me great distress AND stress. (my mom calls me an adrenaline junkie; i must admit that i love the feeling of pain when i'm running.) BUT.. that was 2 months ago, and i still haven't been to the gym; and i'm all sorts of stressed out ... and depressed ... hence i am in the bad cycle of not working out which = no energy = no motivation = STRESS = the mirror as thine enemy.

why am i ranting about all of this?... because i am so proud of you for working so hard to get back in shape - not just to get the body you feel most comfortable in back - but so that you FEEL good.

amidst our remodel, i realize that when we let ourselves get too comfortable in our daily lives, we give up a valuable perspective on life and even sacrifice an untapped excitement that is just waiting out there for us.

i, for one, already think you're totally hot, and you have given me the inspiration i needed to get my butt back to 24 hour fitness!!

cheers, girl!

Man, that sounds intense! I'm guessing the mental satisfaction of sticking with the boot camp is just as satisfying as the physical benefits! Hooray!

I just recently resumed swimming laps. Yes, my estimated date of hotness is sometime this summer.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I enjoy your writing--good blogging! I like that in a girl! :)
Anonymous said…
I'm super proud of you and Mary - I'm waiting until you finish boot camp and then still want to work-out on your own and then I'll join you (for free heee heee) for Mother's Day I bought myself a thigh toner thingy - here's to hoping that it gets used :)
Jennifer P. said…
The boot campers work out in the room right before my step class. They always look like they've all been drug behind a car when they come out, and they leave the room plenty humid and smelly. I think I'll just stick with going up and down an invisible flight of stairs :)!

But good for you! I'm glad you're feeling so great!
Connie said…
Good for you Tiffany! I started what I am calling Assualt on the Abs class but never got past the 3rd class ...
Thanks for stopping by my blog and as a former West Coast resident I look forward to hearing from you & adding you to my blog roll.
Anonymous said…
I have always wanted to sign up for boot camp, but have been to scared. Plus, I am on the lazy side. I am glad you enjoy it. I happen to think you are already hot. Keep up the good work.
jen721 said…
It is always the first step that is the hardest when starting something new like that. Four years ago, I entered the wild world of yoga and have never looked back. Being in Southern Callie, you should look into an Ashtanga class. It's yoga + a workout. Lots of jumping and strength involved and a whole lot of fun :)
Tiffany said…
Ladies! Thank you all so much for the support and for always making me laugh.

I love that I can share these things with you!
Natalie said…
That was hilarious! I soooo hate to workout :) I'm proud of you for sticking with it and I know that very soon you'll be super strong. Have fun and do a squat for me....cause I'll probably never do it!
Anonymous said…
You go girlfirend....send some of that mojo my way will ya?
Anonymous said…
Way to go, Tif! Can't wait to hear updates on this. Tell boy & Candy Man hello!

Anonymous said…
Tiff- I am so impressed. I can't seem to be consistent with exercise- been working on the Weight Wathers thing, counting points, but having a hard time dragging my big booty to the gym. You would think I would be motivated with summer right around the corner and living in the desert and all! (Bathing suit season lasts a long time!!!)
You are an inspiration. Go, go, go!!! I am way impressed.
Anonymous said…
Yay! Congrats to you, Tiff! I'm excited for you!
Anonymous said…
I'll NEVER be as hot as you but I can only try!!!
Heather M.
Soulflower said…
I'm so proud of you girl! I can definitely say that this time next year I will DEFINITELY be totally hot, so we will look great in pictures together. I know we've talked about our mutual hatred of running, so I commend you highly for sticking it out and pushing yourself in this way! You will never regret this!
Apple Joos said…
What are you talking about?! I'm totally hot now!!!

(In the dark...)

; )
Kate said…
You are hilarious! I'm so glad that you're loving it now!
Angela said…
I stumbled upon your blog and laughed out loud when I realized a similiarity. I recently posted an entry, "Bootcamp from you know where!" I feel your pain! Keep up the good work. It is worth it!

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