"To Live My Life As..."

This is a re-post of the ONLY post I did that didn't receive a single comment.  I consider it to be one of the most important posts I've written...

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First of all, thank you so much for reading this and for all the amazing emails, phone calls and conversations of support.  I know I am blogging like crazy, but for now, the juices are a'flowin', so I am a'bloggin'.  I'm sure it will slow a bit and I will start to post recipes and such....okay for those of you who know me, maybe not recipes...

A few years ago, I spent a life changing weekend at The Mohonk Mountain House in upstate New York.  
It was an intimate retreat of 10 business professionals designed help create your business's culture. In any business, you have to know what kind of culture you want in order to really hire and market to the people you want.. or more importantly, the people who want you!

To begin the process, the facilitator (actually, I think he was a jedi master in disguise) asked us to each come up with a mission statement for our own life.  My mind started reeling immediately (I am totally competitive when it comes to these things) but the "Master" spoke and reeling ceased almost instantly and my life was changed forever.

This man, master, guru, said the following:  "For me, it is that I want to live my life as the man I want my son to become."

    TO LIVE MY LIFE AS THE MAN I WANT MY SON TO BECOME

Every fiber of my being resounded, "Yes! Yes! Yes!  That is it.  That is how I want to live."

The clarity was instant.  It was a true "Ah Ha" moment.  How to live, who to be, what to do, was....well, instantly obvious.

Getting the mission statement was the easy part (this sentence alone was worth every penny of that expensive retreat).  Truly living it, holding my place in the world in this way is the challenge.   

When I hold myself to this kind of awesome accountability, I make the right choice everytime, without fail, no exceptions.  When I let my ego, pettiness, jealousy, etc. get the better of me, I try to snap out of it by reminding myself of the woman and example I want to be.

Am I perfect?  Ah, that would be a big, fat "NO, not even close!"  But, I am thoughtful and aware and that's half the battle. For me, having a "motto" for my life is necessary.  A grounding point. If you don't know where you're going, how are you ever going to get anywhere?  

If you have a mission statement or motto, please share it in the comments!  If not, maybe take a few minutes and think about it.  If the motto I shared suits you, take it, it's yours... Can you imagine a world in which we all functioned from such a place?

© 2008 The R Family Diaries. All Rights Reserved.

Comments

Insane Mama said…
I love this! I try to live by the motto of do upon others and you would want them to do.
I sure I didn't say that right, but you know what I mean.
KatBouska said…
Wow that's awesome. Sometimes when I'm parenting and being extra snappy I wonder how I'd feel watching Maile as a mom snap at my grandkids...knowing she picked that up from me. I try to do better.

My motto?? That's tough...let me think on it tonight!!
Amy said…
This is nice. I actually just wrote in an e mail to someone that if my son becomes half the man my husband is I will be so proud. I guess I need to live up to that to. My own mission statement? Take nothing for granted. Or like I always tell my kids, above everything else, be nice.
I think I am the one little European red dot on your map right now. That's fun too.
Anonymous said…
I just interviewed Anna from Annatarian and I asked her what advice she'd give new business owners and her answer was, "First seek the mission."

I haven't had my Aha moment, still flying by the seat of my pants and hoping against hope that my husband has a plan.
Unknown said…
I totally agree Tiffany. The minute I had children I saw it as clear as day and wanted to be the sort of person my children would be proud of. I now treat everyone as I would like to be treated and try to instill that in my little ones always.
Holy Cow! I think I need your jedi master/guru to help me come up with mine!
Tiffany, here is my cyber hug to you for not getting any comments on this originally. :) Must have been "In the beginning," huh?

Excellent advice! Truly. Our kids soak up everything we say and do.

Glad you reposted this!
Jill said…
I've always tried to live by the words "treat others as you would like to be treated." It's gotten me through some rough times....
S Club Mama said…
Mine is similar. Live my life as I want my son to live his life. Do I want him to exercise? Yes, so I need to do so cheerfully. Do I want him to know God? Yes, I must devote my time and heart to God daily. Do I want him to be respectful? Yes, so I must be respectful, even when I'm arguing. Do I want him to have manners and play? Yes, so I must be polite and play.
Heather said…
I didn't comment on this??? Where was I? I remember reading it!

Mrs. R really does live this way and is an amazing balance in any situation. She's constantly talking me down off of the ceiling and telling me to live my life as an example to my girls.
Amy said…
I like "Nothing that matters comes easy, nothing that comes easy ever really matters" so true!
Maternal Mirth said…
I stole my motto from Albert Einstein: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."

It makes me think about situations, issues and problems in ways I wouldn't normally tackle them and, in turn, it makes me take the time to calm down and face it like an adult.
Lula! said…
My motto is supposed to be "Too Blessed To Be Stressed." But I don't always live up to it. And then I usually try to quote Psalm 23:1 at least sixteen times a day..."The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not WANT..."
Because I have a tendency to start sentences with, "I want..." and it usually ends with a trip to Target or shopping online at Forever 21 and Fred Flare.

Sigh...

But back to you...
You are amazing. And I am president of your fan club, just in case anyone's wondering.
Anonymous said…
Love this post! Amazing!
My motto:
To experience JOY everyday.
Jenn said…
Ya know this is the reason I love to come here to visit. I really needed to read that and today is perfect. I came to ask you to stop by my blog to recieve an award. You are one of my favorite sites to visit and what a perfect example! Thanks I needed this.
Swirl Girl said…
Mine is more of a philosophy of life rather than a mission statement.

a quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson:

"I am a part of all that I have met, yet- through each arch gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade forever and ever where I move."

swirl girl
Anonymous said…
Well, I'm not sure if this is exactly a motto, but awhile back I was tagged and asked to describe what 6 words I would want on my headstone (eek! a little morbid but something that makes you think...) and I was looking at my children and thinking about much love and attention they need and deserve - how much love and attention our world and all it's struggles needs and deserves - and came up with:

"She Gave Them All She Had"

Since then I'vet tried to remind myself everyday to gife Life all I have - participate fully and not sleep-walk through a minute of it.
CaraBee said…
My motto, if you will, is that things will always work out in the end. Even if the road is bumpy and the destination isn't where you thought you'd wind up.

Great post! I can't believe no one commented on before.
Unknown said…
Wonderful post!
Beautiful, inspiring motto!
I'm heading out into the day with this motto in my heart.
Unknown said…
I don't know that I have a "motto" but I try to be the person I wish my mother could be/would be...when I start to lash out, I try to reel it back and apologize for my bad behavior...cause it is bad, and my kids need to know that I don't think it ok for me to behave that way...I want them to know I not perfect, but that I try to do what's right...just like I expect them to do.
scargosun said…
I thought I totally commented on this post b/c I remembered that in Sex and the City that's where Miranda and Steve went on the honeymoon. :)
Ronnica said…
I have a life mission statement. Speaking of which, I need to review it and rememorize it, cuz I couldn't tell you what it is. It's hard to live out a mission statement when you don't know it!
Anonymous said…
Ok, so I don't know what my actual mission statement is...I don't want my son to grow up to be the woman I am! That doesn't quite sound right. Maybe I want him to grow up to be the Christian I want to be??

Ever since I had Z though I do look at people and situations differently. If someone or something really bothers me, I try to step back and think "Ok, this person is someone's son/daughter. If the situation were reversed, how would I want them to speak or treat Zander if it were him?" Unfortunately, I don't always remember this...but I really try.
AFRo said…
I love it. I'm adopting your mission statement because 1. My brain is fried and I doubt I could even come up with my own and 2. It fits.
Scary Mommy said…
I love that.

Hmmmmm... I try to live without regret. And to never wish I'd been around the kids more. So far I'm doing much better with the latter. :)
Unknown said…
Mine is 'Do unto others what you would have them do unto you'.

I also like the Serenity Prayer...

'God grant the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.'
Lisa Petrarca said…
GREAT POST!! I'm glad you re-posted this for us to see. I think everyone should have a "Mission Statement" and stick it on their mirror as a reminder everyday. I took a class called, "Discovering Your Life Purpose" and this is my statement:

"Make A Difference In The World...One Person At a Time"

Thanks for the reminder, I needed that!
Tinabean said…
My motto I guess is live life in the now & don't take anyone or anything for granted.
You never know when it could all change or be over.
Jennifer P. said…
I have a lot of little motto's I live my life by. I have to keep them changing to make sure I stay inspired!

But as an interior designer, I learned a little trick a long time ago---think about your house or a room you don't like. Then describe what you like or don't like about it, what you want to change, etc.---and then take a moment and ponder on it and you'll find you are describing something about yourself! (cue Twilight Zone music....)

Hope the 29 comments you've gotten on this so far make up for the previous 0!!! :)
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
My motto is "nothing beats a failure but a try." My mother ingrained this into me as a child and it has stuck.
Kimberly said…
I guess my motto has been the same for a few years now. I have always wanted to live to be a light to others, but my most favorite "motto" in words is a quote by e.e. cummings: "...To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and to never stop fighting." That is my motto!
WheresMyAngels said…
I work with adults with disabilities (and I also have two children with disabilities), two years ago I was involved in a retreat where we were creating a new mission statement for our organization. The retreat involved staff, supervisors, individuals we served and some family members. We were divided into 5 teams after our "guru" told us how to go about the process of creating a new one. On my team we had to each come up with a statement that reflected what we are about. The one I came up with was "Respecting Individuality". This is something I try to do, because everyone is different and we shouldn't judge a person just because they are not like us or have different beliefs, etc.

My line is in the Mission statement:)
Kaza said…
This reminds me of something I read on a blog... unfortunately I can't remember whose right now, but she was quoting Maggie of Mighty Girl (I think so, anyway), who had said she vowed not to marry a man unless she would be proud if her son turned out exactly like him. Yeah. Wow, right? Same idea, but for a different purpose.

Anyway... I don't have a motto. And I can't handle the pressure to figure one out. But I did have a mantra once, when I was suffering from extreme anxiety, which was, "what can I do in this moment to improve the quality of my life?" This would focus me away from negative thoughts. I almost didn't include it here, b/c it sounds selfish and not at all a motto, but it's the closest thing I've got. This was before I had kids, so I might revise it now to the quality of OUR life as a family, but that's not quite it either. GAAAH! I give up!
KWolfAK said…
Ok, I finally found one, so I came back to post it:
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says..

"Oh no, she's awake."

---Unknown
imlikable said…
Wow...that is a strong statement. I love it. Having three, the oldest being my only girl...I see a lot of me in her at times. I am adopting your motto...and from the "JediMaster" cracks me up (my boys love Star Wars!) it is perfect. Thanks for narrowing my focus today. Our family motto - Be Nice.
-Bridget said…
That's a great idea. And I am writing down that statement and putting it at my desk so I see it often. As for another motto, I'm going to give that some thought.
Anonymous said…
I love it! Hubby has a mission statement that he lives by but it's kind of private so I won't post it here. It has to do with being the best husband and father that he can be...he actually repeats it to himself every morning before work. I'm still working on mine...I'm a work in progress!
Mrs4444 said…
I like this one: BE the change you wish to see in the world (Ghandi). Maybe when you first posted this, it was invisible to everyone but you; this is a great post!

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